Older Women's Nipples

Silence is golden, except when it isn’t and I am hoping that my self-imposed hibernation from writing, with all its contributory factors, is over. That’s not to say all the causal factors for not writing are over but I need to start writing again. Not that this is an issue for anyone else other than me but in the vain hope that there are readers out there who have been disappointed by Zenpuss’s absence, then I announce a return!

Please do make comments on this and any other blogs that you have found interesting or stimulating.

ZP

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So Madonna is at it again; shocking the world with the explicit sexual act of showing her tit to an audience of exceptionally excitable people in Istanbul.

Go to You tube and search for Madonna and her nipples.

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Madonna+nipples

Can we just contemplate this seriously for a minute? She flashed her tit for a few seconds, and raised her eyebrows in a mocking style at the so-called titillation of this act.

I like Madonna, most of the time. She knows what she is doing. She knew precisely what she was doing when she removed first one bra, and then pulled down another to reveal her pink and protruding nipple. She knew that there would probably be public outcry at the fact that at 53 year old woman with children was showing her tits to the world in a way that was meant to shock and astound her audience. She knew that there would be outcry at this tiny act of rebellion and she carried on regardless.

Why? Because she is a woman who is prepared to challenge the conformities of sexual thinking and for this we ought to be exceptionally grateful.

We need people like Madonna whether we like her or not.

Aren’t breasts and our reaction to them weird? Why can we not accept that there are certain parts of our body that have multiple functions, and that one of those functions might be sexual - or might not, or might be an unsexual act that is actually very sexual to the viewer?

A young person seeing a woman breastfeeding for the first time might actually be sexually stimulated by this act, especially if they have never seen a real nipple before, though in the days of accessible porn at the hit of a button, it is hardly believable that there are many young folk like this. However, as many who watch porn know, it may be incredibly arousing to look at a series of photos of bloody wonderful tits but pales into insignificance compared with the ‘in the flesh’ stimulation of seeing a real person in front of you getting their breasts or cock out.

Nipples are functionary. They are there to feed young babies who suckle from their mother’s breast to taste their first experience of nourishment. So what?
But they are also functionary as part of a sexual intimacy. Sucking the nipple of a beautiful woman, caressing their boob as their excitement of your touch literally grows before your eyes is incredibly arousing.
It is the same tit that fed a baby but for the moment you are touching it, feeling it, smoothing your fingers over it, grabbing it – it is something different. It is an exceptionally beautiful part of the female body that is there for a reason, and there would be no babies to feed if its other function of attraction was redundant.

There are other parts of the body, of course, that also have these complex functions. A cock slips into a cunt and makes it feel that there is only one purpose for both parts of the body. Yet, these organs are also there for other purposes; child-birth, insemination, pissing.

I’ve mentioned pissing before. It is an instinctive act that we all need to do but sometimes, just sometimes when the time is right, this act of going to the toilet can be one of the most arousing things ever. Yet, we are so caught in our own little boxes of thought that we cannot contemplate that this act could be incredibly sexual.

Try it, I implore you. Watching a sexual partner pissing when your cunt is already full of explosive arousal can really get all manner of juices flowing!

Our bodies are incredible things and we perpetually ridicule or dismiss the sexual functions of our mind, body and soul. What Madonna did the other day was remind us that our bodies have these multiple functions and that it is perfectly appropriate to reveal a tit to an audience already excited by the mere presence of this iconic woman. Why not use her body parts to excite them further whilst simultaneously mocking the entire debacle of humanity’s pathetic response to these small acts that may or may not be sexual in their act – largely dependent upon the response of the viewer.

I suppose the saddest thing about this whole issue is that it is still deemed to be shocking for the woman to have done this. The absolute hypocrisy is hysterical. Why on earth are we shocked? Yet in a way, without that shock it wouldn’t be as sexually arousing.

Funny world, isn’t it?

What Madonna does do when she does things like this is get the world talking and contemplating, and for that, as I said, we ought to be grateful. Without Madonna getting her tits out, we would glibly carry on in life never thinking about our reactions to such things, and it needs someone with the stature of Madonna to make us think about our perceptions and reactions to certain issues, and in this case, the whole issue of the sexuality of an older woman.

Which brings me unsubtly onto that issue.

It is one thing for a sexy, nubile young woman to get her tits out for the lads but a 53 year old woman? Apparently that is obscene in our ageist world that is perfectly prepared to dismiss the brilliance and beauty of the mature body.

Madonna is a good looking woman, with an exceptional body. Personally, I think her tits are a little on the small side, and the muscled tone of her arms are scary rather than sexual but I respect her enormously for the way she has looked after her body and continues to be a deeply sexual woman.

But the main reason people were appalled by her act on stage was the fact that she was an old woman. Isn’t it weird how we judge a person by a number rather than looking at who they are and what they are? It’s preposterous!

Let us get this clear. There is NOTHING wrong with Madonna choosing to reveal her tits to the world, just as there is nothing wrong with other women revealing their cunts to the world on various porn sites. There is something terribly wrong with a woman under a certain age doing this but, for me, there is no age limit to the beauty of woman who still feels sexual.
Maybe not everyone wants to see a 65 year old woman’s body but it is a matter of choice, and I can think of plenty of 65 year old women who have far better bodies than this particular human being. The numbers mean nothing!

What does mean something is the liberation that comes from being able to express oneself sexually.

Even Madonna, a woman who has always been overt in her sexuality, would probably have got a huge surge of arousal by doing this ‘naughty’ act. When she kissed Britney Spears on stage it was a judgement call. It was done to provoke conversation. It was a performance, deliberately enacted to get all those men (and women) whose dream is to watch two women performing sexual acts on one another to rush their minds forward into the possible post-performance pussy-munching that could occur when two women are aroused by one another.

(Slight pause to think about this …….. mmmmmmmm!)

Madonna is in her sexual element. I know how that feels and it is an utterly brilliant place to be; the absolute best place to be. I want to be in my sexual element forever, and I never want to stop feeling aroused and excited and stimulated by sex. I need my sexual element and I am sure that Madonna needs hers too.

Yet so few of us are prepared to admit this, especially in the later stages of life.

Which is why it was so incredibly wonderful to see a follow up of the Madonna Nipplegate in “The Sun” of all newspapers.

It’s not very often that you get the chance to praise the newspaper that is responsible for far too much irritation and indeed trauma for many innocent people, but this time they got it right.

They chose some women to re-enact Madonna’s revelation, and then they explained how they felt.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/4371665/Madonna-was-right-to-bare-her-boob-at-53.html

“I felt nervous when I pulled my bra down but that’s only natural — Madonna probably did too. But then I felt empowered, it was an incredible feeling.” said the first woman who revealed a really lovely nipple.

Empowered. Empowered. What an utterly brilliant feeling!

 “I never feel more liberated than when I’m topless — whether on the beach or at home.” said the next, and continues to say that she is fed up with the prejudice towards older woman and their sexuality.

The next woman made another comment about Madonna but should be equally relevant to all sexual women of a certain age.

“If you’re an older lady people assume you should act like an older lady. I disagree. No matter how old she gets she should never stop being herself.”

No matter how old anyone gets, man or woman, you should never stop being yourself, and that includes sexually (obviously within reason!).

These women are not freaks; they are not trying to prove any point other than the fact that there is huge liberation in being sexual. There is also a ridiculous amount of hypocrisy in sexuality. They point out how it is perfectly acceptable to walk around a beach naked (sadly only in certain places) but nipping your nip out for a second is deemed to be naughty.

We really are quite fucked up about sexuality and the functions of our body, and our mindful reactions.

Madonna, I implore you. Keep going girl. Keep doing things that just push the boundaries of thought on certain sexual issues.

I look forward with anticipation to her pissing on the stage without the world going into free-fall at the utter shock of someone doing something that we all do more than once a day.

And yes, I realise that my love of golden showers is an acquired taste and not exactly mainstream (if you excuse the pun) but my point is that within reason and without hurting or abusing others, we should be able to express our sexuality in many ways and at many ages and that this is the most liberating and empowering thing in life.

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For further reading, take a look at these two articles from the Guardian. The comments on the latter are worth a read too.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/shortcuts/2012/jun/12/pass-notes-3192-the-nipple?INTCMP=SRCH

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jun/13/madonna-nipples-hands-off?INTCMP=SRCH

Oh, and a glorious challenge to Bruce Springsteen too?

Model Behaviour for the Older Woman

Model Behaviour

There are two articles in the Guardian this week that tell a similar story without even realising it.
The first article is about older women and how they have stepped to the forefront of fashion magazines. Apparently, the older look sells after all. People will flock to buy magazines and products that feature or are endorsed by the likes of Madonna, Elle McPherson, Christy Turlington, Halle Berry and Kate Moss to name but a few.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jul/13/rise-of-older-models

In direct contrast, or so it seems, there is another article, written the day after, about the appallingly crass reality television programme where judges are creating “Britain’s Next Top Model”.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/jul/14/michael-hann-britains-next-top-model
Here, they have a range of younger women who are desperately seeking stardom through the flaunting of their very beautiful little bodies and learning all the sordid tricks of the trade.
The article concentrates on the group of girls who were told to pose as a threesome with some strange bloke to sell panties. As it turns out, although they were scantily clad in their negligee, it was the male product that they were trying to sell and not the garments that the girls were wearing.
See the results for yourselves and see what you think.
http://www.fred-and-ginger.co.uk/news-events/britains-next-top-model/

So what is the similarity between these two articles apart from the bleeding obvious that they are both to do with the fashion industry?
Essentially, although they probably don’t actually realise it, they are both appreciating the fact that sex is something for the older women. That is not to say that younger women cannot participate. I mean everyone has to start and learn somewhere but subconsciously, maybe they are both saying that sexuality is a more comfortable concept for the older woman; that older women are more in tune and at ease with their sexuality and therefore it is more natural and more vivid to use their sexuality in adverts than the falsehood of an imposed sexuality that we see when younger models are used.

Let us look at the two articles separately.
The first article explains how there seems to be a growing interest in the use of older models. The writer explains that as a thirty something woman, she felt ignored and invisible as she walked down the street. Prior to becoming a trigenarian, she felt noticed, whereas now she had entered into a new decade she had lost her oomph. Yet, all of a sudden, she was discovering the fact that there could be a second coming; older women are beginning to be seen as attractive once more.
The article moved on to explain how many older women were selling products that younger models could not do in such an authentic manner.
Older sisters are doing it with encouragement from a range of brothers.

As some commentaries on the article suggest, the cynical response to this is that it is purely down to economics. For example, one commentator stated that this is merely a financial issue and that they wouldn’t be using these older women unless it sold their product. Such a comment totally misses the point as to why it is that older women are “selling the product”. They are selling the product and being used by these magazines because their maturity sells things. And why? Because they are confident and comfortable with themselves and with their sexuality, and this confidence and assuredness comes across in their stance, their posture, their very essence, thus giving you the confidence and assuredness in whatever they are selling.
It’s quite simple really.

There are some fantastic quotes in the article from people who seem to know what they are talking about. Two Dutch photographers, Inez Van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin, say that they prefer to use older women because they have the experience that can be reflected in the shot.
No manner of acting can give reality to something that real experience can.
This reminds me of that glorious conversation between Dustin Hoffman and Laurence Olivier during the filming of “The Marathon Man”. Hoffman had been up all night, getting into his character using Strasberg’s method acting. His character was devastated by the loss of his brother and had allegedly been searching days on end to find the truth of his siblings disappearance. Old Oliver saw him and said “Good God man, whatever is the matter with you?” to which Hoffman replied that he was fine but that he had been up all night preparing for his role. The master actor rebuffed this nonsense with a quick response “Wouldn’t it be easier to just act, darling?”

But acting is not always possible. Real experience is often required. For example, just as masturbating with a decent dildo is fine, it pales into insignificance compared with the reality of two people making love with copious orgasms all round.
Real experience is far better, and I am now beginning to wonder if Meg Ryan had ever had a real orgasm before her “When Harry Met Sally” spectacle.

The Dutchmen state

"models like Kate [Moss] and Daria [Werbowy] are mature, they've grown up, they're women who have had a life and experience. For about five or six years now we haven't shot anyone under 18 for that reason, but also for the fact that, we feel the modelling business should not promote girls working under this age. They're not out of school – their bodies haven't developed yet and they don't have a sense of self. Sometimes they haven't had sex yet. It's hard to project all these things on someone who hasn't had that experience."

I’d go further than that. It is not hard to project these things on someone who hasn’t experienced it. It is almost impossible to do so.
It’s like seeing actresses “giving birth” when they have clearly never done so in real life. They scream and push and get chronologies all mixed up. They sweat buckets of moisture and finally relax as the baby’s head appears miraculously after half a minute. What they never portray is the relentless boredom, the insufferable pain, the tears of frustration and fear and the total horror of the event in its non-Hollywood reality.

The article continues to quote other fashionistas. Francisco Costa from Calvin Klein states

"The woman who puts my clothes on needs a certain level of sophistication. We wanted to acknowledge the women who have always worn our clothes: women who have their own identities, have full lives, have kids."

He is stating the bleeding obvious that the industry has clearly ignored for too long.

So within this article we have a celebration of maturity. We have an acceptance that older women have an unwavering confidence that is clearly captured on film and that this certainty sells products. The older woman has a sexual confidence about her. Take a look at the Dolce and Gabbana photograph of Madonna and a younger man and you have no doubt, despite the ubiquitous cross around her neck, that this woman can fuck. How appropriate that they also have a young man who is probably at the prime of his sexuality too.

Turning to the other article, the theme is also about age but points fingers to people who are making younger people do something that they are not ready for.
The article talks about a bizarre programme called “Britain’s Next Top Model”. I haven’t seen the programme and have no intention to do so. It sounds like a horrendous idea and a horrendous show with a mixture of would-be’s and has-beens all trying to give the fashion industry the gravitas that it evidently does not deserve. They are a sleazy bunch all-told.
In some ways, I think they are far sleazier than their pornographic counterparts. At least porn magnates admit to what they are trying to do. These people are potentially even more manipulative than the Heffner’s and co of this world. Why? Because they try and get young women to be sexual via the back door, so to speak. They are not up front about it. That is not pleasant.

The article continues to explain how the candidates for this unbelievably stupid title were asked to do a photo shoot, as stated earlier, for a famous lingerie company. The girls did not feel comfortable. They found the pseudo lesbian poses and the kisses that they had to do unbearable. It was obvious, according to the writer, that they did not want to be doing these things.
He continued.

What we saw on Top Model – the pressuring of young women into providing masturbatory fantasies for men – was more than modelling. Of course, modelling has always been about selling sexiness, especially lingerie shoots. But this wasn't selling sexiness, it was selling sex. Forget the sizzle, these girls were the steak, nothing but pieces of meat. And it was final proof that the celebrity trend of recent years – the faux lesbian kiss – has passed from being a desperate bit of attention seeking into a forced rite of passage for young women who might wish to make their living from their looks.

Now there is a certain amount of political correctness going on from this middle-class, middle-aged Guardian writer. He is hardly going to come out as being a fan of porn is he? And the whole article suggests a certain primness about the whole notion of sexuality. His attitude towards porn is evidently from a 1980s feminist standpoint.
But I suggest that he is onto something here without even realising it. He is so determined to be all high and mighty about same sex kissing that he misses an essential point about the whole notion of photographers working with these younger models.

He continues in the piece to criticise all the celebrities who have “kissed a girl” for the sake of sensationalism and creating a media storm. To an extent, I would agree. Feeling another woman’s tits or giving her a good tonguing purely for the sake of selling your latest film or record is a bit sick. However, if these woman are doing it because they are celebrating the vastness and multiplicity of their sexuality, then good on them! They do not warrant such criticism.
His criticism is also loaded with a hint of contempt for bisexuality too. He does not even consider the possibility that Scarlett Johansson or Penelope Cruz might have enjoyed their snog with one another. He does not contemplate the fact that Sandra Bullock was turned on by kissing another woman. He cannot accept, it seems, that these women found the whole experience very horny.
I have to say, I wish I had been in the room when Scarlett and Penelope were getting it on. There might have been quite a few trips to the loo for me!

But here is the real crux of the issue. If Fred and Ginger, the lingerie company, had been a little more thoughtful, they would have realised that they were using the wrong models. If they really wanted to sell their panties, they should probably have been looking at the older women who have that great comfort with their sexuality. They would not have to act or embellish the poses. They’ve been there. They can demonstrate what they have experienced. These poor, innocent and downright naive young women cannot do this.

So in essence, without even mentioning it, both articles are telling me that the time is ripe for older women to not only get out there and flaunt their ever maturing delightful bodies, but also get out there and celebrate the sexuality of their being. It is a sellable product in itself if only people had the foresight to realise.