Before I go any further, I want to make it perfectly
clear that I contentedly count myself as one of women in the title of this
piece. I may not be a Granny or have to dye my hair to eradicate the greyness
but it is only a matter of time, (well the hair dying at least).
I am the right or wrong side of fifty, depending on your
perspective, but I am certainly a mature woman – well at least most of the
time.
Older women seem to be in the news at the moment. Older
women, apparently include women from the age of 31 years old upwards. From where
I am standing, I wouldn’t call a 31 year old woman an “old woman” but I suppose
if you are having a relationship with a 17 year old, then you could certainly
be described as being older.
The other day, I was reading something on the Yahoo
website about how some famous Z-lister was “dating” another wannabee celebrity.
There was total outcry because she was 31 and he was 17.
I’ve now found the link on the Daily Mail website and
have discovered that this woman has had death threats.
I’m not going to go into the age-old debacle of the
hypocrisy involved here, in so far that if the age of the genders in this case
were transferred, people would find it less problematic. It is a well-known
fact that a younger woman having sexual relationships with an older man is far
more socially acceptable than the other way around. Personally, and this really
is a personal view, I would be concerned with anyone in their thirties having
sex with someone who may not be emotionally mature and who has only just passed
the age of consent.
But then again, when are we emotionally mature enough to
cope with the complexities of sex?
I’d also like to point out that the age difference is not
an issue here. It is the age of the youngest person involved. For instance,
Catherine Zeta Jones is decades younger than her partner but she did not jump
into a sexual relationship with him when she was still of school age.
And even then, there are times when it is perfectly acceptable.
At that age I was gagging for sex with an older bloke and I think I had the
emotional maturity to have happily been fucked to pieces by this gorgeous one.
Ah, if only.
Diane Keaton was on Woman’s Hour this week. At the age of
65, as a successful film actor, she has had opportunities galore in her life;
opportunities that most of us can only begin to imagine, and yet, half way
through the interview she stated that she had many regrets, one of which was
that she had been too cautious in her previous decades.
I don’t want to wake up at the age of 65 and regret the
fact that I did not seize the moment when the moment arose. I do not want to
wake up in years to come and wish I had taken the opportunity to do the things
that I wanted to do. I do not want to wake up in decades to come and feel
remorseful that I didn’t experience lots of sensational sexual experiences
throughout my life.
I spent years not understanding, valuing or expressing my
sexuality and now that I have discovered all the joys of sex, I’ll be damned if
I am going to put a stopper in my delightfully spunky body now.
I want to spray my stuff all over the place. I want to be
filmed having sex with myself and others and I want to be free to be sexually
proud with whoever chooses to enjoy my sexuality.
This brings me onto another issue that was discussed
recently with a group of friends.
Again, I’m back to the glorious Daily Mail.
This article points out that there are a growing number
of “silver separations” whereby people arrive at an age of retirement only to
discover (or finally acknowledge) that they have nothing in common with their
lifelong partner. They may have been contented and have even survived the empty
nest syndrome when their children fled from the family home, but then, all of a
sudden, they find that they simply have nothing to say or no desire to do
anything with their partner.
The divorce rate for these former Baby Boomers has
escalated dramatically.
And I really hope that part of this is down to the
empowerment of women. I really hope that there are some people who, like Diane
Keaton, wake up one day and say, “I am in my 60s. I have regrets but actually
there is still plenty of life ahead of me and I am damn well going to get out
there and enjoy it”.
Sexual freedom is vital. It is empowering and liberating,
and if, at the age of sixty you suddenly feel as though you want something
different then why shouldn’t you do it? IF your partner is not offering you
what you want, then surely you have an entitlement to look elsewhere. Even if
you partner is giving you everything you need, there may still be a desire to
feel the liberation of another body in your bed.
Circumstances vary from person to person and relationship
to relationship but the issue remains; nobody owns anybody and if it takes
almost a lifetime to realise that, then so be it.
But there is a problem.
Google “STI rise in older people” and you will find that
this is a world-wide problem, well at least in the western world. Americans,
Canadians, Brits and Ozzies have all found that there has been a significant
increase in the number of cases of STIs in the over 55s. Clearly, it is not
coincidence that this is happening simultaneously with the rise in the over 55
divorce rate.
People suddenly free and expressing their sexuality for
the first time in years may suddenly feel as though nothing in the world can
prevent them from enjoying themselves, right up to the point when they contract
the Clap.
It can be an extremely difficult, embarrassing discovery
and unnecessary shame occurs.
With the concerns of pregnancy averted by the menstrual
nightmare clocking off, women particularly are in danger of making assumptions
that they are safe when it comes to sex. I can totally understand this. The
total liberation of knowing that you cannot accidentally conceive must
certainly relieve a nagging issue in the middle of sex. It is also reported
that with an increase in the use of the little blue pill, more older men are
thankfully enjoying sex more frequently but once more, in their elation, they
are sometimes forgetting that it is not all about being hot and horny.
Sometimes, a little care and consideration is required too.
I am honestly not trying to be negative in all of this. I
want women and men to thoroughly enjoy their sexuality. I am an advocate of
people of all ages enjoying sex. I am damn sure that I want to be enjoying sex
as a sexagenarian – lexicographically it seems rather befitting.
Older people MUST enjoy sex and lots of it.
And talking of older women, let’s just celebrate the fact
that finally we can look forward to a life of liberation and an enjoyment of
our sexuality.
Our world is changing and our sexuality with it.
Last night, I caught a small amount of the Children in
Need programme on the television. There was a Strictly Come Dancing session
with four newsreaders (all of them over 40 years of age).
Whether you are a fan of this genre or not, I have to say
that they all looked bloody good. Susannah Reid, who I confess to having a huge
crush on, looked completely gorgeous but the others too showed how to be an older
woman oozing with sexuality and confidence.
The routine culminated with Angela Rippon, aged 66,
appearing from behind the newsdesk just as she had done decades before on the
Morecambe and Wise show, still managing to kick her legs in a full air splits!
Amazing!
Good on them!
Older women, however old they are, are out there and
enjoying their sexuality, and I am proud to think of myself as one of them.
On a final note about older women in the news, I return
to the BBCs Saturday bonanza programme.
At present, Anita Dobson, she of Angie fame in
Eastenders, is currently strutting her stuff on “Strictly Come Dancing”. This
week, she was in the news and was also on “Woman’s Hour”. There was a slight
outcry in the dancing quarters because she apparently performed a brilliant
dance last week, scoring an exceptionally high mark from the judges only to
find herself in the bottom two at the end of the evening.
Why? Well the only possibility is due to her age. Despite
her clear ability and her absolute passion for dancing, she found herself without
the support of the public, and I can only, assume as did the media this week,
that this was all due to her age.
Older women are not deemed to be as exciting and invigorating
as the younger type.
I’m not an avid fan of this programme but I might just
watch tonight and vote for Anita just to support the liberation and the
sexuality of the older woman.
Life begins at 40, 50, 60 or even further along than that
if you explore and embrace your passions, particularly if that passion is for
sex.
Here’s to the older woman and her opportunities in life
so that nobody in the future wakes up at the age of 65 and says, “I wish.....”
