Oh Stephen, Stephen, Stephen – what are you on about?
I’ve always admired the man for his interest and wit in such a range of subjects. Even his passion for the dreaded opera and Wagner is commendable if only that it is a passion – not one that I could possibly share. But what the hell is he doing talking about female sexuality in a way that is unbelievably, or considering his own sexuality – totally believably naive manner?
Let us face facts. Most heterosexual men have no idea about the potential of female sexuality so how a homosexual man can comment really does defy belief.
As if the lack of acknowledgement of female sexuality is not bad enough, we then go and have the nation’s chief lovey trying to say that women only indulge in sex in order to maintain relationships and that they are not really interested in sex at all.
His argument was that if women were that interested in sex then why wasn’t there the sort of cruising areas for heterosexual humping that there is for the gay community?
My sentiments entirely! But possibly I might be coming from a different angle on this than Mr. Fry.
My sentiments entirely! But possibly I might be coming from a different angle on this than Mr. Fry.
The reason that there are no cruising areas for heterosexuals is precisely BECAUSE female sexuality has been ignored for years not, dear Stephen, because we are not interested in sex.
Female sexuality has been suppressed. Those of us who adore sex are seen as rather unusual. There is no room for a woman like me to admit that I like to fuck, that I enjoy looking at pornography, that I get off on seeing two people fucking the living daylights out of each other, that I am gagging for it.
My sexuality is not catered for in society. I have to play the monogamy game because that is what is expected of me by all manner of folk but does that really mean that I am not interested in sex elsewhere?
Stephen Fry has a point that there is a general assumption that women are less promiscuous in thought and deed than their male partners, that their sexuality is somewhat constrained within the boundaries of a relationship. This may well be the case. At present, my sexuality is bound within a relationship but it doesn’t mean that it always will be.
And it doesn’t mean that female sexuality has to be bound by a relationship. In many ways, the world would be a much better place if we could actually distinguish between sexual desire and the need or hope for a loving relationship.
Obviously, I happen to think that the very best type of sex comes about when two people genuinely care for one another, that they can share themselves and their sexuality completely but that is only one form of sex.
Recreational sex is not and should not just be the pastime of the gay community or the errant male partner. It is such a bloody cliché and an anachronism to think it as such.
Presently, I am not sure that I am in the mood for recreational sex but I might be one day, especially if it is part of celebrating the sexuality of another. I’m not sure that I really do want to have sex with more or less complete strangers but I sure as hell expect the right to make the choice to do so without being seen as a hussy or a tart.
And there is another thing. Sex is not just about penetrative sex. There is plenty of yummy sex to be had in not having a cock up your cunt. As I said, I can enjoy and celebrate my sexuality by looking at internet sites that are extremely sexy. I love wandering around sites, especially of splashing women who are totally enjoying their sexuality without a man in sight, Mr. Fry. Perhaps I ought to send him some links.
I can enjoy my sexuality on my own just as much as any man. It’s quite simple. Just as a man can curl his fingers around his erect cock and rub it to a satisfying cum, then so can a woman stick her little digits inside her, rub against that beautifully erect spot inside her and make it moist with excitement. Alternatively, she can come out of her cunt and tickle that other special spot that is hard and waiting for her touch. Clitoral cums are pretty damn wonderful and far better than most people’s experience of penetrative sex.
Neither wanking or watching porn are something that involves a partner, though it is evidently better if they are engaged in some form or another.
But I would not be doing these things if I was not genuinely interested in sex and my own sexuality.
As far as enjoying my sexuality with a partner, then there is nothing that gives me greater pleasure. I have always had a fantasy about being watched having sex, and I would happily welcome Mr. Fry into a sexual encounter to see if he thinks I am enjoying it or merely lying there for the gratification of my man. I’d loan him a pair of goggles and give him a towel to cover his lap just in case my cascades of cum misfired in his direction.
Can’t make those up Stephen!
The really fascinating thing about Stephen Fry’s outburst is that he frames all this weird talk about women’s reluctance to enjoy sex as a pity for heterosexual men, that these men cannot enjoy the delights of recreational sex in the same way that homosexuals can. Susie Orbach states “does he think there is something disgusting about sex?” For someone who spent years being celibate, this could possibly be the case.
In a bizarre way, Fry might be onto something here. I think what he is talking about is that there could be some heterosexual men who do not have the liberation to enjoy their sexuality because they feel that they are constrained by a commitment to another person. He is also stating that they cannot properly enjoy their sexuality if the woman that they are with is not enjoying hers.
I think that is a fairly valid point.
There are women around the world who cannot enjoy their sexuality because they still don’t think that they are supposed to. There is still not enough said about female sexuality to make them change their mind and actually embrace their sexuality rather than suppress it. Until such times are vanquished, then the likes of Stephen Fry are going to make these assumptions and women around the nation are going to agree with it because they do not know anything different.
It is a tragic self-fulfilling prophecy, a sexual Catch 22 and it has to stop.
I implore all women who are sexually enlightened to stand up and declare that they do enjoy sex, that they want sex, that they are gagging for sex, that they think about it frequently, that they delight in naughtiness that they do not see as naughty at all.
It is time to stand up and be counted and declare a passion for sex and to put this silly notion away once and for all that sex is the domain of the man.
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