So why did I feel so vindicated by the Daily Mail report earlier this week?
What was it that made me feel so smug?
Well, in honesty, it made me feel that I wasn’t quite so stupid and wasn’t quite so weird as I and others sometimes assume that I am with regard to my sexuality and feelings when making love.
For those of you who do not want to bother looking at the link, this article explains some differences between men and women when it comes to sex and particularly to orgasms.
It explains the stages of orgasm for a woman. It also explains how complicated we women are with 30 different parts of the brain are involved in orgasm – told you we could multi-task!
It says that there are stages to the orgasm; that it involves brain power, the sensory cortex which receives messages from other parts of the body and how the main climax is probably controlled or supported by the hypothalamus, which controls temperature, hunger and thirst.
It also states that orgasms numb pain and that there are specific sensors within women which means that when they have an orgasm it triggers a particular hormone called oxytocin, otherwise known as the cuddle hormone, which is why women have this hopeless sense of ‘lurve’ when they have sex.
As for a man, they do not tend to have this hormone working in the same way during sex. His main hormone is dopamine, not oxytocin. Where a woman has an influx of loveliness and a desire for cuddles, a man, through the dopamine is thinking only of pleasure.
It is interesting to see the difference between these two hormones. Perhaps this is where the Mars and Venus differentiation comes along. However, I would like to suggest that those who get the very best out of sex are in some way managing to get both hormones working simultaneously. Perhaps this is what happens when people who have strong feelings for one another receive the absolute climax of Satori when they are making love, in that they somehow share and balance the effects of oxytocin and dopamine. Perhaps scientists could tell me whether there are certain males that have higher levels of oxytocin and certain females who have a healthy dose of dopamine that is higher than the average woman.
These are vital components of life that need yet more exploration to finally come to terms with what this sex malarkey is, and what it does to our mind, body and soul as we partake in this divine physical act.
However, there is another point. Did I and do I actually need scientific evidence for all of this? Isn’t it mind-blowingly obvious to anyone who has experienced the pinnacle of sex? That is partly why I feel vindicated because I could have told these scientists precisely what I think is happening in my brain during sex, if only they had bothered to ask.
To me, it seems perfectly clear and logical that these processes are taking place in my body when I am having sex. It makes perfect sense to me that once I have reached a certain point, I need a hug, I need a cuddle as much as I need a cock penetrating my very needy cunt. It seems perfectly obvious to me that other parts of your body send messages to the brain. It is perfectly clear to me that if I am kissed in a tender and specific way my orgasms are intensified and rapid. It seems perfectly clear to me that the reason I get an orgasm from giving some fellatio is because my body is working in harmony with my mind. My mouth is telling my brain that I am enjoying myself – there is the dopamine, and that triggers the watery movements in my body without any penetration from any part of the body getting anywhere near my pussy.
This happens. It has happened to me and if only people knew their bodies, knew the potential of sexual experiences and were prepared to share this knowledge, then we wouldn’t even need the scientists. It should be as obvious as the knowledge that if we put water into our mouths we will prevent dehydration. It should be as clear as the need to put clothes on your back in cold weather. It should be taken as a known that the processes involved in sexual enjoyment are as natural as wanting to eat when you are hungry.
But of course, there is a difference. We can survive without sex but we cannot do so without food, water, shelter and clothing. Not that we want to survive without sex. I don’t want to. But I will, if necessary.
The difficulty in making people aware of this is probably a political one. Not everyone can have sex in this way because they do not get the opportunity or meet the right people. If they realised just how potent and brilliant this sex was, there may be a revolution from disgruntled people who feel as though they are entitled to something that they have not experienced. There could be all out anarchy, and those of us who do know this and have experienced it might be under all sorts of pressure to share our knowledge, knowing that we cannot possibly have these experiences through a strained and unwanted sexual experience.
The difficulty in making people aware of this is probably a political one. Not everyone can have sex in this way because they do not get the opportunity or meet the right people. If they realised just how potent and brilliant this sex was, there may be a revolution from disgruntled people who feel as though they are entitled to something that they have not experienced. There could be all out anarchy, and those of us who do know this and have experienced it might be under all sorts of pressure to share our knowledge, knowing that we cannot possibly have these experiences through a strained and unwanted sexual experience.
Sex is complicated. We know that.
The point is that people underestimate the importance of sex and that is why there is still so much mystery around what happens to us physically and emotionally during sex. And that is why the scientists involved in this research get so much publicity; not because they have discovered anything different to those who are sexually enlightened already know, but because it appears that our poor society needs the credibility of facts in order to make things a reality, when the reality is there irrespective of the scientific validation.
It’s all a bit sad really.
It’s all a bit sad really.
The article continues to explain how regular sex can stave off early onset of dementia. How? Because sex somehow manages to ensure that our brains keep on reproducing cells. The more sex you have, the more brain cells are produced.
Vindicated! Bring on the cock please. I want my brain cells working perfectly. It also makes me wonder whether my best pieces of writing have come about once I have been saturated by glorious orgasms. Makes you think really.
Vindicated! Bring on the cock please. I want my brain cells working perfectly. It also makes me wonder whether my best pieces of writing have come about once I have been saturated by glorious orgasms. Makes you think really.
The article also explains how sex produces higher levels of serotonin (you don’t say!) and that the limbic region of the brain, associated with pleasure, is working on full gas when having sex. It tells of endorphins being released during sex that clear the mind and negate depression.
This is all so obvious, it is hardly worth repeating and hardly worth reporting, only clearly the world has not fully acknowledged this.
However, there is one section that is worthy of note, even though for me it is perfectly obvious too.
It states that the mind plays a key role in achieving orgasm, particularly for a woman.
“The scans show that, during sex, the parts of the female brain responsible for processing fear, anxiety and emotion start to relax more and more, reaching a peak at orgasm, when the female brain’s anxiety and emotion are effectively closed down.”
Again, you don’t say!
Sex is that vital to me. Anyone who knows me intimately will know that I am a far more compliant and sensible human being when I have regular sex. Without it, I am a bumbling idiot most of the time apparently. Without sex, I have fear, anxiety and destructive emotions. Bit of a Catch-22 really because who wants to fuck a dysfunctional woman?
I suppose the moral of this piece of scientific research is this. Fuck a woman and you fuck their minds too.
Beware!
But seriously, this is good news and needs to be spread far and wide; that sex is a combination, that orgasms are real (for women) and that the world can have decent sex if only they were prepared to take this sort of research as the truth.
In fact, this sort of research vindicates in other forms of relationships too. If you do have the knowledge, the experience and the potential to spread a little happiness further than society seems to think that you ought to, then perhaps you ought to do just that and have sex with multiple partners, safely of course; only be mindful of what is happening to your brain and others when doing it. At this rate, a sexually enlightened woman could be falling in love all over the place, even if it is only for an instance. But a man, according to this research, has the potential to spread happiness without having the complications of having their minds fucked, as long as they are high on the dopamine and do not have intense levels of oxytocin.
Perhaps it is a man’s world after all.
We abuse sex in so many ways. We dismiss it as a physical act when clearly at its best, it is far more important than just that. We do not use knowledge and experience of sex wisely. We do not embrace its qualities and we do not realise just how much this experience can overwhelm.
Sex is very, very complicated and yet simultaneously is as natural and uncomplicated as feeding and drinking.
It shows that sex can be on many levels. It can be a quickie, a physical pleasure, a delight but it also comes with mind manipulation, naturally, without the words, without the adoration. It makes me think that sex should not be entered into lightly and making a decision to have sex with someone that is going to be a regular thing should be carefully considered, if the research and my experience holds true.
Sex, in its brilliance, is totally about the mind as well as the body, and with this potent combination, there is the absolute in spiritual awareness. Your soul can be completely fulfilled by this wonderful, wonderful experience.
Another article mentions another fairly obvious fact, as far as I am concerned.
In this article, which complements the previous one, it states that women have two pathways of sexual pleasure. It states that when a woman masturbates they get a different type of orgasm than when they are with a partner or a lover.
I really did not need to read this to know it is true.
I masturbate regularly, to get me to relax and sleep, alone.
This masturbation is pleasant but it is incomparable to the sort of sex that I want and enjoy with a lover. It is almost like a halfway house, knowing that it is important for me to orgasm regularly but equally knowing that it is not engaging my brain in the same way and is certainly not releasing those oxytocin hormones. Dopamine could be at the forefront of wanking for a woman, even endorphins but it is not engaging my mind in the same way that I do with a lover.
This masturbation is pleasant but it is incomparable to the sort of sex that I want and enjoy with a lover. It is almost like a halfway house, knowing that it is important for me to orgasm regularly but equally knowing that it is not engaging my brain in the same way and is certainly not releasing those oxytocin hormones. Dopamine could be at the forefront of wanking for a woman, even endorphins but it is not engaging my mind in the same way that I do with a lover.
In fact, there is a third way too. I do not have to be physically present in the same place with my lover to have a screamingly good orgasm. If I am talking on the phone whilst masturbating, if he is talking me through an orgasm whilst simultaneously knocking one off for himself, then the orgasm is far better and far more intense than if I was just wanking alone.
This research seems to suggest that this is not merely an imagination of mine either.
Back to the mind – that vital component to good sex.
So, there is the research. It is good to see the research. It is even good to see it reported on in THAT newspaper but it is one’s own experience that really tell the truth that a thousand pieces of scientific research merely confirm.
Enjoy sex, know what it is doing and remember, which of course you will be able to do because once you are at it regularly, you are reinventing yourself with all those lovely fresh brain cells.
Has anyone done any research on the sexuality of the most brilliant minds in history, I wonder?
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