Miley and Me

I don’t profess to have too much in common with the multi-millionnairess Miley Cyrus. After all, she’s half my age, got more money than she could possibly want and has a confidence in herself that sends my jaw dropping to the ground.

However, there are three commonalities between Miley and me.

1.       When her sexuality was awakened she wanted to let everyone know how good she felt – as did I.

Sexuality is important. When it’s missing from your life, the light goes out, no matter how hard you compensate with other means of peacefulness, tranquillity and hopefulness. If, like me, you’d spent years of being a sexual being but never feeling particularly sexual, then you’d understand both Miley and me. Discovering the overwhelming brilliance of sex and the power of your own sexuality is an awakening beyond anything else in life. You want to stop people on street corners and say “I’m alive! I’m sexual! I’ve seen the light and I never, ever want to feel any different”.

I’m alive, alive, alive.

When you discover your sexuality, all other ills or traumas or obstacles in life appear surmountable. The liberation of discovering your sexual prowess can’t possibly be underplayed. It’s enormous.

And whilst we’re on the subject of Miley, can we please remember that she is “of age”. The pressures that are placed on these child stars mean that they have a propensity to mature sooner than their chronological years, and that might mean their sexuality matures quicker too. So yes, she may only be 20 years old, but she’s been around for over a decade.

2.       When she realised the enormity of the glories of sexuality, she wanted to cross boundaries and challenge her comfort zone – as did I.

Once I realised I was a sexual being, I wanted to explore my sexuality. Rightly or wrongly, I felt that I’d suppressed the real sexual me for too long and I wanted to make up for lost time. I wanted to celebrate my sexuality with my lover, and within reason, I wanted to see how far I was prepared to go sexually.

I suddenly realised that if two people were completely in tune with one another sexually, you could try anything, and you could also tell one another how you felt about sexual experimentation.

I started slowly – a naughty photo message, given and received. Tits and cocks at first, then open pussy oozing juices and cocks erupting with cum. I then discovered a love of porn – shared, explored together until I became more confident to discover websites for myself.

And so the journey continued – a discovery of the self and of togetherness. Bottles, dildos, fists all welcomed into my cunt, stretching my mind as well as my body. Kissing and fucking other women in front of my lover – something I hadn’t thought I’d ever experience. Having sex under trees with trains rocking by. Grabbing genitals under tables when penetrative sex was unattainable. Offices sprayed with sexual juices. Having sex in front of other people. Oh, and water sports! Oh how I loved water sports!

And twerking. Lots of glorious, wonderful, arse-splayed twerking, knowing that something rather delightful was “cumming” up behind you.

Yes, I challenged my comfort zone to discover who I was, and I haven’t finished the journey.

If Miley wants to cross boundaries and explore her sexuality, then who am I to suggest she contains it within the privacy of her own home? I didn’t.

3.       When she appreciated the importance of her sexuality, she wanted to empower other women to enjoy, express and own their sexuality – as did I.

Miley Cyrus has been truly reprimanded for her forthrightness. I would agree with some commentators that she has to be careful. I had the pleasure of exploring my sexuality with a much smaller audience than Miley but I felt so invigorated by my sexual experiences that I felt a real and urgent desire to share this with the wider world – hence this blog.

Women of all ages need to be reminded that they are sexually capable, that we shouldn’t be inhibited by the somewhat misogynous traditions of sex, that we should celebrate our sexuality. Those of us who’ve had this awakening have a duty to empower others.

I am a sexual being. I like sex. I like sex in various ways. I love the feeling I get from being a sexual being. I want others to know just how capable their bodies and minds are in relation to sex. 

I want people to experience that satori moment that can only come from sex. Maybe Miley feels the same way.

I want to be sexual.

So was I offended by Miley’s twerking? Obviously not. If I’m perfectly honest, the thing I found most unappealing about her infamous twerking display was the way she stuck her tongue out! (Oh and the music wasn’t exactly to my taste!)

There’s another commonality between Miley and me, come to think of it, and it’s to do with the public persona. Admittedly, Miley’s sexual awakening happened in front of far more people than my own but the same principles applied.

Miley Cyrus was Hannah Montana: the all-American Disney sweetheart who entertained young girls with her saccharine performances of pop. She was a blonde-haired beauty who attempted to be a “normal” teenager in spite of the fact that she was this superstar, and she led a double life. (As did I).

People couldn’t differentiate between Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana. They thought the actress was the character, and to some extent still do. Because of this, the sexual awakening of Miley somehow became more shocking. It was unexpected. How could Hannah Montana, I mean Miley Cyrus, be this sexy, fit woman who flaunted her sexuality in front of our faces?

My own situation was slightly different. Due to the circumstances when my sexuality was awakened, I couldn’t tell anyone. It was a secret. However, I know that many people in my life would have been totally shocked that the sweet, gentle, caring, loyal woman that they thought they knew turned out to be a raving nymphomaniac with an insatiable desire for cock!

As it happened, I remember meeting a friend about six months into my sexual awakening. We went out for a meal. She sat down in front of me and looked into my eyes and said with a certain amount of incredulity, “Are you having an affair?”

I looked at her, ready to deny everything but realised that it was pointless trying to deceive a woman who had known me for my entire adult life, and was also a very sexual woman. How could she possibly have known? I hadn’t casually mentioned my lover during our conversation. I didn’t think I looked any different, other than possibly putting on a bit of weight. How could she have known?

According to her, I looked more relaxed and liberated than I had done in years. She said I looked sexy, that my boobs looked bigger or at least more pronounced, and I distinctly remember I wasn’t wearing a low-cut top at the time. She said I seemed happy, contented, assured.

And I was.

The transition from the wholesome to the whore! People can’t cope with that, which is why they use derogatory phrases to accentuate the contempt for someone else’s sexuality. Neither Miley nor I are whores. We’re just people who rather dramatically discovered our sexuality and bloody loved it.

Take Madonna, for instance. When she shot to fame, she wore her sexuality on her bodice right from the word go. When she “flaunted” her sexuality, some people were shaken by her explicitness but they weren’t completely surprised. It was expected, and therefore she could get on with exploring and expressing her sexuality without too much dissent. It wasn’t until she became an “older woman” that people started to be more shocked at her antics, begging her to wrap her beautifully toned body in an outfit more befitting for a 50 year old. Says who!

No, the real issue about Miley Cyrus is that people were troubled by her sexuality because of the misconceptions they’d built in their minds about who she was, and were astonished at the contrast between the twerking temptress and the treacly teenager that they’d welcomed into their homes through the glorious medium of television. They were worried that their offspring, who had loved Hannah and had wanted to dress like her and who’d filled their bedrooms with all manner of purple “Hannah” range of goodies, would suddenly want to change their ribbons for rabbits or their T-shirt for a G-string or their Disney ears for dildos.

(Perhaps aforementioned parents should consider the virtue of allowing their own children to be so absorbed by the commercialisation of young children such as Miley Cyrus. If they hadn’t played the Hannah Montana merchandise game, then their children might not have been so fixated on the Miley and would therefore have been shielded from her sexual awakening.)

So, yes, I understand Miley. I understand her predicament and I understand her desires.

Good luck Miley, but do be careful.