What is the oldest profession in the world? Google it and you come up with the inevitable – prostitution.
How many times have you heard that men think about sex frequently? Google it and you will see a mass of results on the subject.
According to Wikipedia, the porn industry in the US alone is worth between $2 and $13 million. Why the analogy between the two figures, one wonders? -but not for long. Surely the difference in these figures is down to the fact that there are still plenty of people who do not want to admit that they are either producing or watching porn.
In 2001, it was estimated that the internet accounted for $1billion of annual income distribution in the industry with magazines generating a similar amount. Cell phones, in the same year had a mere $30 million. Of course, that was before smart phones and I suspect this figure has changed somewhat over the last decade.
How long has the sex industry been going? Is it disappearing anywhere at present or merely reinventing itself with the changes in technology?
Ask yourself a question. If there was a chance that your viewing would not be traceable on a computer’s hard drive, how often would you look at porn?
If there was a dedicated porn world wide web, would you want to be part of it?
If you enter certain sexual phrases into a search engine, how many pages are you referred to?
Here is a taster.
Sexy legs – 5 million
Fucking – 359 million
Fellatio – 8 million
Female orgasm – 4 million (oh yes girlies, we are way behind cock sucking!)
Female ejaculation – 6 million – and still the world does not believe that it exists.
To put this searching into context, here are a couple of none sex related popular searches at present.
Kate Middleton – 26 million – more popular than fellatio but way off fucking
Michael Jackson – 210 million
Marxism – 6 million; only a few more than sexy legs.
Even something as generic as “philosophy” only generates a fraction of the word “fucking”.
And my point is?
Sex is more important than one of the most famous icons of our time or the most googled woman of the day or the greatest force of free thinking in the world and yet we still shy away from its existence and its significance in our lives. Time proves that the sex industry is a long and well established force. It evolves and develops but ultimately it is about the glorification and delight of penetrative sex.
And still we do not acknowledge the importance of the subject in our lives.
A friend of mine asked me recently if I had ever seen my partner wanking. Thankfully I could answer honestly that there were very few things in life that delighted me more than seeing my lover with his cock in his hand, vigorously jerking himself off, especially if he has his other hand up my cunt simultaneously. However, I could also tell my friend that there had been plenty of times in my life when I had definitely not seen a partner masturbate because it was an unspoken entity in our sex lives.
This conversation then developed into that whole realm of masturbation and the fact that some people still think that their partner wanking is a negative reflection on their ability to arouse.
Many women feel that if their man has a need to jerk off to a porn site or a magazine then that means that they are not as aroused as they ought to be by their partner. According to some women, it shows a lack of commitment to one person. It shows the woman that they are not as sexy as others with bigger tits or firmer buttocks. They really find it offensive that a man can be sexually excited by others.
Well obviously, this then leads into another realm of misunderstanding and the helpless and hopeless insistence on complete monogamy, including the commitment to not look as well as not touch. I am not even going to go there because that is for another time; once explored and surely needs revisiting from time to time.
What I am most interested in is people’s ability to enjoy one another’s sexuality with the assistance of a bit of porn and an acknowledgement of the joys of the sex industry rather than bemoaning its existence and trying to eradicate its influence.
One of the things that I really enjoy doing is sharing my pornography viewing with my lover. We cannot always be together but we can definitely be sexually excitable and sexually exciting one another from a distance.
From time to time, I might go to a website and look at it, feeling myself getting extremely aroused at my viewing. Not only do I treat myself to a bit of DIY whilst looking, I also revel in the fact that with a hit of a button, I can send a hyperlink to my lover so that he can see precisely what has aroused me. The fact that he does the same is mind-blowingly exciting and, for me, indicates a real honesty and intimacy between us.
I love the idea that he is such a sexual being that he can reach out for a magazine or connect to the internet whether I am there or not and enjoy the utter delight of other female forms. The fact that he gets off on women that do not look like me merely excites me rather than makes me envious of their perfect bodies; after all, it’s me that has the pleasure of fucking him, not them, and even if they were fucking him, he would still be enjoying the intimacy of sex with me precisely because I am happy for him to wank away with others.
Sex is there. It is a part of our lives; all of our lives. It is very much a part of my life with my lover but is also a fraction of what makes up the intimacy between us.
And there is another thing.
My lover asked me the other day whether I liked having spunk gunked all over my face.
I bloody love it – was my response. He responded too, saying that he would love to see another man shoot his load all over me, just as he had seen in a recent youporn clip that he would like to share with me.
Had it not been for the fact that we had shared porn together and that we discussed our individual viewing of porn, I would not have been able to give him the honest response that I then did.
I too loved looking at women covered in spunk but as far as I was concerned, at this moment in time, I did not want other people spunking over my face; only him. I would be quite happy for a bloke to shoot his load over my stomach (something that I totally adore) but for me, there was something very intimate about climaxing on my face and I only wanted him to do that. That is not to say I did not enjoy watching other people with a face full of the creamy white stuff.
Now we could not possibly have had that conversation were it not for the fact that we are honest with one another and that we have both viewed the sort of pornography where these things happen. In viewing we are only furthering our intimate knowledge of one another, and neither does this detract from the times when we want nothing more than to lose ourselves in sensual love-making that is so dynamic and enduring that it makes me cry, where passion is so intense that we are almost angry with one another for not having more sex and no sharing more opportunities of sexual togetherness.
Sex, the porn industry and the viewing of hard core does not detract from our sexual relationship. It enhances it. I feel no envy for the delicious women that he wants to watch because he knows he can share his enjoyment with me. I’d actually rather like to just sit and watch him as he views a magazine so that I can see precisely how he gets aroused. In fact, I want to film him doing this so that he can watch himself too.
Sex is there. It is not going to go away so I think it is about time people started to consider the positives rather than the negatives of such prolific enjoyment that could be shared.
I still have certain concerns about abuse and exploitation and I would be horrified if I found out that any of the gorgeous young women that I had watched ‘enjoying’ themselves felt that they had no choice in what they were doing. But the porn industry is not prostitution. I am sure there are some seedy get-ups where women are not comfortable with what they are doing. I am sure there are porn pimps out there but hopefully they are not being viewed by me.
I know this is complicated and I have no way of finding out but I do happen to believe that if we were all a little more honest about the fundamental need for sex, then this exploitation could not take place.
Meanwhile, I will continue to go to trusted sites and view some beautiful bodies. I will continue to write about the things that excite me on a daily basis and I will continue to share with a passion the delights of the sexually enlightened with my lover.
I just hope he sends me one of those hyperlinks before I explode, and I hope the reader will enjoy the thought that I am happy for the world to be aroused in any way they choose; sharing it is the best.
And on a final note, I hope that this piece will be found with a google search alongside the other 25 million on wanking.
