Sleeping with the Teacher
There is an article in today’s Observer by Victoria Coren, whose writing is usually entertaining and often stimulating. A short aside – is such ability genetic?
This week she was writing about Helen Goddard, the attractive bisexual woman who has recently been sent to prison for having sex with a fifteen year old student at her school.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/sep/27/helen-goddard-teacher-victoria-coren
There are some bizarre commentaries about this case, and the case itself brings about a range of questions and comments. The most peculiar issue is that the judge sent her down for a crime that she committed but allowed her to remain in contact with the girl with whom she had sex.
As Coren says, would a judge sentence a burglar to a couple of years in the nick and then tell him/her that she was free to have a little break-in on the side once he/she was released?
I want to get one thing clear from the outset.
I actually think it is wholly inappropriate for a teacher to have sex with a pupil at their school. There was good reason for introducing this law and I hope that it has protected many innocent and naïve young men and women who could have been emotionally scarred for some time by the experiences.
However, it is not quite as clear cut as that.
What happens if you actually meet someone that you really care about through this type of relationship? What happens if the teacher and pupil are both emotionally stable and mature, and they actually genuinely care about one another so much that it seems the absolute right thing to do?
Making such a clear cut rule is probably the right thing to do but the judgment also has to take into consideration a range of other issues.
Even as I write this, I am unsure of my thoughts on the whole issue.
Then again, I have to say that I was possibly emotionally scarred by having a relationship with an older person when I was seventeen. The emotional abuse was quite obvious to all around but because he wasn’t a teacher at my school, and because it was before this law was introduced, there was nothing that prevented the abuse from happening. I was over the age of consent – nothing could have stopped him doing what the hell he liked to me.
The irony in my particular case was that there was another man in my life at the time, a very beautiful man who cared for me enormously and looked after me. He talked to me and treated me with the uttermost respect. He nurtured my intelligences and enabled me to develop the self-confidence and worth that I needed. If I hadn’t have had him in my life at that time, then I think I might have been a permanent gibbering wreck due to my sexual relationship with the boyfriend of the time.
Of course, this other man was a teacher at my school.
I think at the time, if I had told my parents that I would like to have a sexual relationship with the teacher rather than the abusive swine I was actually sleeping with, they would have run to the nearest church, raised their hands to heaven and shouted, “Hallelujah!” despite the fact that the teacher was married with three kids.
Like so many things in the world, and particularly the sexual world, nothing is as straightforward and clear cut as it seems, and sometimes strict legislation is not the answer.
One commentator on Coren’s piece has made an interesting point.
A seventeen year old who has sex with a fifteen year old is committing a crime, admittedly, it would hardly be pursued in the courts but by the statutes of law, it is a criminal act. An eighteen year old who has sex with a sixteen year old is free to do so and nobody would bat an eyelid.
The commentator went on to say that in essence, this is a little ridiculous. Putting a mandatory age-related cut-off point is somewhat pointless when the real issue is about the emotional and social maturity of the people involved. There are some fifteen year olds who are possibly mature enough to cope with sexual activity and there are some 23 year olds who are simply not ready!
There were calls in the press on the weekend about lowering the age of consent.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/radio4/2009/09/iconoclasts_age_of_consent.html
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00mrd9g
The crux of the matter though was that this Dr. John Spencer from Cambridge was suggesting that the age of consent should be lowered or indeed eradicated completely. He was saying that there is a real issue about criminalising consensual sex in an attempt to prevent abusive sex. He is not advocating a specific age of sexual consent but he is trying to determine the differentiation by outcome, i.e. that each case should be on its own merit, or lack of merit – whatever way you want to view it.
The delightfully right-on Peter Tatchell also contributed to the debate saying that in essence it was about human rights, i.e. the right to have consensual sex and the right to be protected from sexual abuse and that the law as it currently stands does not reconcile these two issues.
As I discussed in a previous blog, I am not sure there actually is a human right to having sex and whilst I would like there to be the opportunity for all to have sex if they want it, there is a huge danger in such a right regarding the abuse of it.
Tatchell then went on to say that it is really about good relationship education and another contributor came up with the classic line “Wearing a condom does not protect from heartache”.
And this is really the issue with both the age of consent and the particular case of the trumpet teacher and her young lover.
There is no law that protects against emotional responses and abuse. One could argue that the age of consent should remain precisely where it is for there is the outside hope that a sixteen year old is less likely to suffer from emotional abuse through sexual activity than a thirteen year old but it is never that clear-cut.
In fact, the more I think of it, I think I would ban sex and marriage until there are definitive signs of emotional maturity and security! Having said that, if this was the case, then I could still be a virgin!
So back to Tatchell.
It is about good quality sex and relationship education with a heavy emphasis on supporting young people to delay sexual intimacy with another until they are completely confident that they have the emotional capacity to deal with the negatives as well as the positives, and I am not sure that this can ever be legislated for.
Good sex is intimate. Good sex is deeply engaged in feelings that go well beyond the physical. Good sex takes you to a higher plane than anything else this world has to offer. Even as a person who has experience of teaching sex to young people, I cannot even begin to imagine how I can possibly get this across to young people. Sex is so bloody wonderful when it is all encompassing that really you shouldn’t even want it without all elements. But then again, how will you know what is perfect about a really all-encompassing sex if you haven’t experienced a quick shag that is just about the instinctive urge to fuck?
The papers are all out to condemn Helen Goddard, or even worse, to assume her own emotional immaturity in being attracted to a fifteen year old girl. But sometimes, attraction comes and knocks on our head and hands and heart and there is nothing that can be done to stem the desire and the passion. It is simply there.
Whilst I would advocate a certain amount of restraint, particularly in this case when Helen Goddard was the responsible adult, you cannot legislate for feelings. You cannot have laws and legally binding documents that mean that you can simply turn off the thoughts and ignore the intensity of an attraction.
I am genuinely not saying that it was perfectly acceptable for her to do what she wanted. She was in the wrong and she should have restrained. There were other ways of maintaining the relationship and being honest with the girl, even if necessary to say that there could be a future sexual relationship without putting herself in such a tenuous position.
I am just saying that sometimes, you cannot ignore the feelings.
There is, of course, another issue about this story.
I suspect that the coverage would not have been so great if it Helen had been a bloke. The intrigue is exacerbated by the fact that this woman is a bisexual woman and that her ‘victim’ was a female.
The other most recent case of the teacher in the docks for having sex with a pupil was another woman but she had sex with a boy. I am sure that there are plenty of other cases where a male teacher has had sex with a female pupil but quite frankly such cases are not as sexy for the press. That is almost a given!
It is yet again an example of the double standards in this country regarding sexuality. There is acceptability to a point. The irony of this story is that it has come to the forefront because it is so abhorrent that a young 26 year old woman would want to have sex with a 15 year old girl, yet it is precisely the titillation of such a story that warrants its coverage. As a society, we are appalled by this sexuality yet also enormously intrigued at the same time.
We want to be all moralistic about bisexuality yet we want to know more about it and read about it, thus proving in my opinion that we are actually interested in it.
Admitting that is something that people are not prepared to do.
Obviously, this is only my opinion. There is also the idea that this woman is too beautiful and too sexy to waste herself of bisexuality or lesbianism. How many times have I heard women say that it is “such a waste” when they see a gorgeous gay bloke? But it is not a waste at all. It is their choice and they are not wasted if they are experiencing the sexual excitement that they desire.
This woman is clearly someone who is a sexual being and all she is doing is recognising that fact, albeit in a legally inappropriate way. If she wants to swing both ways, then good luck to her!
I just wish I could get such a good looking woman with similar interests into bed with me and mine (proverbially speaking) so that we could enjoy the swing of both of her directions.
And on that note, I am going to have some beautiful thoughts, recognising both my sexuality and the sexuality of others. Nobody can legislate for that either. I am an evolving person, as all should be, and for now, this is my sexuality. I can look at a woman and think some very positive sexual thoughts. I can do the same with men.
I just wish that our society could be a little more honest about their love of sexuality and not live up to this prudish anachronism that is so prevalent in our unsuitably named Great Britain.
Sunday 27 September 2009
Thursday 17 September 2009
Women selling Products
The other day I was looking at a website that was advertising a product called Vulva.
http://smellmeand.com/index_2.html
The idea behind this is to bottle the very essence of womanhood so that men, and I assume gay or bisexual women, can get off on the wonderful aroma of a woman’s cunt.
Before I go on to discuss an aspect of this website, I must digress to discuss the product itself.
I first heard about this product whilst watching Jonathan Ross some months ago, prior to his Russell Brand broadcast and the Georgina Baillie malarkey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Na2e8Gmlqw
The perfume, as I said, mimics the tantalising smell of a woman’s secretions. It doesn’t state which secretions these are, i.e. whether they are the initial lubricant or the gushing cums which clearly have different smells, tastes and texture. However, considering that most ill-informed people still think that female ejaculation is piss, then I am assuming that it is that sticky, sweet substance that comes before the powerful ejaculation that I know and love.
Now it seems to me that such a perfume is a perfectly acceptable product. I can see some enormous benefits to a range of people. For example, imagine some poor sod that has never sniffed a woman’s cunt or has not been near one for some time. This perfume offers an opportunity to savour the flavour, so to speak, either as a first timer or as a refresher and an alternative for something that is not currently available.
There are also the gimmicky “humorous” situations when you can spray the stuff around for a bit of a laugh. I can imagine such a perfume going down rather well in a communal bath tub after a rugby match, for instance.
But there are other people who might benefit from such a product.
I was talking to someone the other day who was telling me about another woman who is having some angst about her sexuality. She can’t decide whether she is bisexual or not. I suspect this woman has never gone down on a pussy so maybe this product could help her decide!
Or there is the man who just likes the smell of cunt, and why shouldn’t he have the opportunity to have a bottle of mock pussy fragrance to keep him going through the day, irrespective of whether he can get the real thing or not on a regular basis.
Having said all of that, there really cannot be anything like the real thing, can there?
I was imagining the alternative for women, i.e. a bottle of fragrant sperm. Would that work? Would it get me reaching for the nearest dick or dildo?
Yet, I would have to say that there is spunk and there is spunk and like the size of cocks and the variation in cunts, there is a difference in the smell of individual vaginal emissions. I am pretty sure that whilst there are similarities, my cum and my lubricant smells and tastes different from another woman’s.
So the answer really has to be this.
If you want the smell of your sexual partner with you throughout the day, then surely the best thing to do is collect a dose of your own juices and find some way of depositing it on something or gathering it together in a vessel of sorts.
Personally, I think knickers are the key. There is something incredibly horny in spreading a little happiness through secreted juices on a pair of sexy panties that you can give to your lover for them to sniff as and when they desire. I really do get extremely turned on by the thought that someone is smelling my cunt and hopefully holding his cock damn tightly whilst he does so, even though I am miles away. I’d happily secrete my juices on whatever is available in order for him to have this as regularly as he wishes.
Even better, I adore the smell of my own panties that I have worn immediately after a wonderful spunky fuck, where my juices are all intermingled with the remnants of sperm that have dribbled out of my pussy during the rest of the time of my wearing the panties.
I have a pair currently that I am loathe to place them in the wash because they still smell fantastic!
That has to be my favourite smell.
Maybe I ought to suggest it to the makers of vulva. The smell of penetrative sex – must think of an appropriate name for this product.
Still, it’s all good fun and it is, for me, another acceptance of female sexuality having a rightful place in life. I know that many a sister would disagree with me, saying that this is a liberty and demeans women but I would suggest that this should be turned on its head. Come on girls, accept that our pussies are the perfect perfume. Embrace it! Love it!
……………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Now I would like to return to the other aspect of the Vulva product – the website.
If you click on the link, you will see a very beautiful woman with a stunning body and a divine pair of tits carefully placing the product in front of her pussy, hiding all the essential elements of woman and thus, I supposed enabling the product to be placed on standard sites rather than just porn sites.
She is extremely sexual. She has a black, transparent camisole on that actually enhances her tits rather than covers them disappointingly. Clearly, looking at this photograph, you want her to remove the product so that you can see where it might have come from. Clearly, the woman is there to entice you into buying the product, and one assumes that if you do buy the product you could imagine that it has come from this wonder woman and you can imagine that what you have in your perfume bottle is actually her cum, her sex, her essence.
If you go further into the website, and look at the gallery, you see this woman enjoying herself, well almost, with another woman. There is no fucking going on. There is no pussy licking or even tit fondling, but there is the strong suggestion that these women have been having such a rollicking good time, that they have managed to produce this fragrant fancy.
And I hope they did enjoy themselves because they both look as though they deserve it.
Then there is the ubiquitous male model who is clearly supposed to be aroused by having these women being sexually excited around him. He is there to remind us that this is a sales pitch to the horny man who would welcome the sniff of this product. He is there to remind us that there’s some action in his trousers at the mere sniff of the Vulva. However, he is totally clad in clothes – fully suited and booted. Why? Well they are not selling this product to heterosexual women and the lesbians wouldn’t need the man to be undressed to get their kicks. And even if they were trying to sell this product to horny, hetero-women, they still couldn’t show his erect cock because that is not allowed!
Obviously, this is a sexual product so of course they are going to use enticing girlies to sell their wares. There is nothing wrong with that. Quite frankly, if you are looking for such a product, you kind of expect there to be some nubile beauty draped around the place, and in this situation, it is absolutely the right thing to do.
However, is it appropriate to use beautiful women to sell other products that are not of a sexual nature? And if that is the case, and it is okay to use female sexuality to sell a product, then why is it not appropriate to use a naked male for the same effect?
Of course, there is a difference between selling a product through female beauty and selling a product through female sexuality.
It’s complicated! Like so many sexual things, there is the yin and the yang, the positive and the not so positive.
Let’s just take a little look at this.
Many adverts use beautiful things to sell product, often coupled with some other theme of sorts.
I can think of plenty of products that have been sold with a beautiful backdrop of natural perfection. Look at the old “Old Spice” advert with the surfer risking his manhood in the incredible brilliance of a curving wave. I was mesmerised not by the male totty but by the unbelievable beauty of this natural phenomenon. Then there was the Milk Tray man darting through all those stunning mountains to get to his beau. As I remember, there was something for everyone with that one; a James Bond with chiselled chin and a 70s lady dressed in black, glittering in gold and looking as though she was about to go to Abigail’s Party.
Guinness too has been known to use the strength of natural beauty to sell their wares, as have Dulux paint and many other products.
One has to consider that the main issue here is the natural beauty. The advertisers have chosen to use natural beauty to sell their product. And what is more natural and more beautiful than the female form? So one could argue, therefore, that there is nothing wrong whatsoever in using naturally beautiful women to sell things to a gullible and unsuspecting world.
It gets slightly more complicated with female sexuality being the product push.
It is further complicated when you cannot distinguish between whether a product is being sold through the beauty of a woman or her sexuality. In some cases the two are indistinguishable dependant upon the woman involved.
But what if it is being sold purely because the woman is oozing sex appeal?
At first glance, this could be somewhat disconcerting. Personally, I have a little issue with sexuality being used in this way, not because it is demeaning but because people still haven’t fully embraced the positives of female sexuality in all its very obvious glory. To use female sexuality before it is deemed acceptable for a woman to be sexual by society seems to me a little premature.
If, on the other hand, female sexuality was being used to sell a product because it was embracing the absolute wonderment of female sexuality then this has to be a good thing. I cannot sit by and get all prudish when I want the world to be accepting and appreciative of a woman’s right to be a sexual being.
I want women to be enabled to be expressive and free with their sexuality, and to this end, I suppose there is nothing wrong with using such sexuality to sell a product but I know that many would disagree. There is the argument that sexuality is such a precious gift for all of us that it should not be used in advertising at all. It is something that is intimate and personal, precious and perfect. The thought of using such wonderment to sell anything is not quite right.
The whole thing about advertising and consumerism is a pretty revolting thing anyway, and I am not sure that I want sexuality to be used in this way.
Just consider this from the other side as well - and getting back to my naked cock.
There is something that is not quite right about a woman’s body being used to sell a product where a naked man’s is not allowed. It is the same as the shots you get in films. Women in full frontal are now an acceptable part of visual art, in the main. Men still hide their cocks from the screen.
I distinctly remember seeing a cock on the screen for the first time – loads of them all at once in the middle of “A Room with a View”. I was in heaven. Copious cocks all at the same time.
Harvey Keitel then dropped his kegs in “The Piano”. I thought that the world was becoming more liberal after all, but both films were nearly twenty years ago and it still hasn’t become a massively mainstream thing to do.
Men, on the whole, give or take the odd David Beckham and his ilk, do not ever get remotely sexual in selling products. On a positive note, maybe that is because there is an assumption that women are not as gullible into buying things just because it is advertised in conjunction with an insinuated hard on. However, there is also the underlying suggestion that it is not necessary to use male sexuality to sell something because women don’t have their hands on the money or that the money that can come from such a product is not actually that important. It is negligible.
Or even worse, and with even more misogyny, it could be because that it isn’t worth the bother. Women don’t need to have a healthy bit of sexuality to sell them anything. They’ll buy regardless!
I would like to think that I am not taken in by advertising but I sadly have to admit that I might be even if I don’t know that I am. That is the power of the whole industry. If this is the case, which it is, then I would actually quite like some hot bloke to sell me a piece of jewellery dangling from a hard one. Actually I’d settle for a flaccid one because presently we women don’t even get a single view. I know that we allegedly have a decent imagination but sometimes, you just want the bare truth in front of you, which is what men get with a beautiful or sexual woman.
Finally, there is another issue that I think ought to be considered, and this is probably a slightly more controversial thought. Women sell products. Beautiful women sell beautiful products but they are not just selling them to men.
The advertisers might be far more liberated than the rest of society. It is possible that these Saatchi and Saatchi bods accept that the fact women buy products advertised by beautiful or sexual women because they are actually attracted to them.
They are not selling bras to men. They are selling them to women, and it is the women, us, that are turned on by seeing a decent pair of boobies smothered in M&S’s best, hoping that we look as good in them. Alternatively, we might even be enticed by the boobs and wonder what it might be like to feel inside that bra and savour the touch of a silky, softness of a pert tit.
It’s just a thought!
This subject possibly has an exhaustive list of pros and cons and I would welcome further thoughts from readers.
In essence, all I want is some equality in our sexuality. I can accept beautiful things selling beautiful products. I can potentially accept female sexuality being used to sell things if people are positively embracing rather than using such sexuality and I can also accept women being used to sell things to us if men and their sexuality can be used too, though I still have concern about using the wonderment of sexuality to sell anything. As I said, it’s complicated.
Because when all is said and done, it’s simply time to just get on and accept the very significant part that sex and sexuality plays in our lives, and if we accept advertising and commercialism as part of that (if we really have to) then let’s at least have something enjoyable to feast our eyes on.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………….
And so back to Vulva!
I want that body in so many ways!
But I also want to turn someone on with my very own sweet fragrance, which apparently is in abundance if fingered properly.
I could go into my very own business of natural Vulva, if only I could work out a way of preserving it before it goes off.
Mmmm – what does out of date cum smell like?
http://smellmeand.com/index_2.html
The idea behind this is to bottle the very essence of womanhood so that men, and I assume gay or bisexual women, can get off on the wonderful aroma of a woman’s cunt.
Before I go on to discuss an aspect of this website, I must digress to discuss the product itself.
I first heard about this product whilst watching Jonathan Ross some months ago, prior to his Russell Brand broadcast and the Georgina Baillie malarkey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Na2e8Gmlqw
The perfume, as I said, mimics the tantalising smell of a woman’s secretions. It doesn’t state which secretions these are, i.e. whether they are the initial lubricant or the gushing cums which clearly have different smells, tastes and texture. However, considering that most ill-informed people still think that female ejaculation is piss, then I am assuming that it is that sticky, sweet substance that comes before the powerful ejaculation that I know and love.
Now it seems to me that such a perfume is a perfectly acceptable product. I can see some enormous benefits to a range of people. For example, imagine some poor sod that has never sniffed a woman’s cunt or has not been near one for some time. This perfume offers an opportunity to savour the flavour, so to speak, either as a first timer or as a refresher and an alternative for something that is not currently available.
There are also the gimmicky “humorous” situations when you can spray the stuff around for a bit of a laugh. I can imagine such a perfume going down rather well in a communal bath tub after a rugby match, for instance.
But there are other people who might benefit from such a product.
I was talking to someone the other day who was telling me about another woman who is having some angst about her sexuality. She can’t decide whether she is bisexual or not. I suspect this woman has never gone down on a pussy so maybe this product could help her decide!
Or there is the man who just likes the smell of cunt, and why shouldn’t he have the opportunity to have a bottle of mock pussy fragrance to keep him going through the day, irrespective of whether he can get the real thing or not on a regular basis.
Having said all of that, there really cannot be anything like the real thing, can there?
I was imagining the alternative for women, i.e. a bottle of fragrant sperm. Would that work? Would it get me reaching for the nearest dick or dildo?
Yet, I would have to say that there is spunk and there is spunk and like the size of cocks and the variation in cunts, there is a difference in the smell of individual vaginal emissions. I am pretty sure that whilst there are similarities, my cum and my lubricant smells and tastes different from another woman’s.
So the answer really has to be this.
If you want the smell of your sexual partner with you throughout the day, then surely the best thing to do is collect a dose of your own juices and find some way of depositing it on something or gathering it together in a vessel of sorts.
Personally, I think knickers are the key. There is something incredibly horny in spreading a little happiness through secreted juices on a pair of sexy panties that you can give to your lover for them to sniff as and when they desire. I really do get extremely turned on by the thought that someone is smelling my cunt and hopefully holding his cock damn tightly whilst he does so, even though I am miles away. I’d happily secrete my juices on whatever is available in order for him to have this as regularly as he wishes.
Even better, I adore the smell of my own panties that I have worn immediately after a wonderful spunky fuck, where my juices are all intermingled with the remnants of sperm that have dribbled out of my pussy during the rest of the time of my wearing the panties.
I have a pair currently that I am loathe to place them in the wash because they still smell fantastic!
That has to be my favourite smell.
Maybe I ought to suggest it to the makers of vulva. The smell of penetrative sex – must think of an appropriate name for this product.
Still, it’s all good fun and it is, for me, another acceptance of female sexuality having a rightful place in life. I know that many a sister would disagree with me, saying that this is a liberty and demeans women but I would suggest that this should be turned on its head. Come on girls, accept that our pussies are the perfect perfume. Embrace it! Love it!
……………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Now I would like to return to the other aspect of the Vulva product – the website.
If you click on the link, you will see a very beautiful woman with a stunning body and a divine pair of tits carefully placing the product in front of her pussy, hiding all the essential elements of woman and thus, I supposed enabling the product to be placed on standard sites rather than just porn sites.
She is extremely sexual. She has a black, transparent camisole on that actually enhances her tits rather than covers them disappointingly. Clearly, looking at this photograph, you want her to remove the product so that you can see where it might have come from. Clearly, the woman is there to entice you into buying the product, and one assumes that if you do buy the product you could imagine that it has come from this wonder woman and you can imagine that what you have in your perfume bottle is actually her cum, her sex, her essence.
If you go further into the website, and look at the gallery, you see this woman enjoying herself, well almost, with another woman. There is no fucking going on. There is no pussy licking or even tit fondling, but there is the strong suggestion that these women have been having such a rollicking good time, that they have managed to produce this fragrant fancy.
And I hope they did enjoy themselves because they both look as though they deserve it.
Then there is the ubiquitous male model who is clearly supposed to be aroused by having these women being sexually excited around him. He is there to remind us that this is a sales pitch to the horny man who would welcome the sniff of this product. He is there to remind us that there’s some action in his trousers at the mere sniff of the Vulva. However, he is totally clad in clothes – fully suited and booted. Why? Well they are not selling this product to heterosexual women and the lesbians wouldn’t need the man to be undressed to get their kicks. And even if they were trying to sell this product to horny, hetero-women, they still couldn’t show his erect cock because that is not allowed!
Obviously, this is a sexual product so of course they are going to use enticing girlies to sell their wares. There is nothing wrong with that. Quite frankly, if you are looking for such a product, you kind of expect there to be some nubile beauty draped around the place, and in this situation, it is absolutely the right thing to do.
However, is it appropriate to use beautiful women to sell other products that are not of a sexual nature? And if that is the case, and it is okay to use female sexuality to sell a product, then why is it not appropriate to use a naked male for the same effect?
Of course, there is a difference between selling a product through female beauty and selling a product through female sexuality.
It’s complicated! Like so many sexual things, there is the yin and the yang, the positive and the not so positive.
Let’s just take a little look at this.
Many adverts use beautiful things to sell product, often coupled with some other theme of sorts.
I can think of plenty of products that have been sold with a beautiful backdrop of natural perfection. Look at the old “Old Spice” advert with the surfer risking his manhood in the incredible brilliance of a curving wave. I was mesmerised not by the male totty but by the unbelievable beauty of this natural phenomenon. Then there was the Milk Tray man darting through all those stunning mountains to get to his beau. As I remember, there was something for everyone with that one; a James Bond with chiselled chin and a 70s lady dressed in black, glittering in gold and looking as though she was about to go to Abigail’s Party.
Guinness too has been known to use the strength of natural beauty to sell their wares, as have Dulux paint and many other products.
One has to consider that the main issue here is the natural beauty. The advertisers have chosen to use natural beauty to sell their product. And what is more natural and more beautiful than the female form? So one could argue, therefore, that there is nothing wrong whatsoever in using naturally beautiful women to sell things to a gullible and unsuspecting world.
It gets slightly more complicated with female sexuality being the product push.
It is further complicated when you cannot distinguish between whether a product is being sold through the beauty of a woman or her sexuality. In some cases the two are indistinguishable dependant upon the woman involved.
But what if it is being sold purely because the woman is oozing sex appeal?
At first glance, this could be somewhat disconcerting. Personally, I have a little issue with sexuality being used in this way, not because it is demeaning but because people still haven’t fully embraced the positives of female sexuality in all its very obvious glory. To use female sexuality before it is deemed acceptable for a woman to be sexual by society seems to me a little premature.
If, on the other hand, female sexuality was being used to sell a product because it was embracing the absolute wonderment of female sexuality then this has to be a good thing. I cannot sit by and get all prudish when I want the world to be accepting and appreciative of a woman’s right to be a sexual being.
I want women to be enabled to be expressive and free with their sexuality, and to this end, I suppose there is nothing wrong with using such sexuality to sell a product but I know that many would disagree. There is the argument that sexuality is such a precious gift for all of us that it should not be used in advertising at all. It is something that is intimate and personal, precious and perfect. The thought of using such wonderment to sell anything is not quite right.
The whole thing about advertising and consumerism is a pretty revolting thing anyway, and I am not sure that I want sexuality to be used in this way.
Just consider this from the other side as well - and getting back to my naked cock.
There is something that is not quite right about a woman’s body being used to sell a product where a naked man’s is not allowed. It is the same as the shots you get in films. Women in full frontal are now an acceptable part of visual art, in the main. Men still hide their cocks from the screen.
I distinctly remember seeing a cock on the screen for the first time – loads of them all at once in the middle of “A Room with a View”. I was in heaven. Copious cocks all at the same time.
Harvey Keitel then dropped his kegs in “The Piano”. I thought that the world was becoming more liberal after all, but both films were nearly twenty years ago and it still hasn’t become a massively mainstream thing to do.
Men, on the whole, give or take the odd David Beckham and his ilk, do not ever get remotely sexual in selling products. On a positive note, maybe that is because there is an assumption that women are not as gullible into buying things just because it is advertised in conjunction with an insinuated hard on. However, there is also the underlying suggestion that it is not necessary to use male sexuality to sell something because women don’t have their hands on the money or that the money that can come from such a product is not actually that important. It is negligible.
Or even worse, and with even more misogyny, it could be because that it isn’t worth the bother. Women don’t need to have a healthy bit of sexuality to sell them anything. They’ll buy regardless!
I would like to think that I am not taken in by advertising but I sadly have to admit that I might be even if I don’t know that I am. That is the power of the whole industry. If this is the case, which it is, then I would actually quite like some hot bloke to sell me a piece of jewellery dangling from a hard one. Actually I’d settle for a flaccid one because presently we women don’t even get a single view. I know that we allegedly have a decent imagination but sometimes, you just want the bare truth in front of you, which is what men get with a beautiful or sexual woman.
Finally, there is another issue that I think ought to be considered, and this is probably a slightly more controversial thought. Women sell products. Beautiful women sell beautiful products but they are not just selling them to men.
The advertisers might be far more liberated than the rest of society. It is possible that these Saatchi and Saatchi bods accept that the fact women buy products advertised by beautiful or sexual women because they are actually attracted to them.
They are not selling bras to men. They are selling them to women, and it is the women, us, that are turned on by seeing a decent pair of boobies smothered in M&S’s best, hoping that we look as good in them. Alternatively, we might even be enticed by the boobs and wonder what it might be like to feel inside that bra and savour the touch of a silky, softness of a pert tit.
It’s just a thought!
This subject possibly has an exhaustive list of pros and cons and I would welcome further thoughts from readers.
In essence, all I want is some equality in our sexuality. I can accept beautiful things selling beautiful products. I can potentially accept female sexuality being used to sell things if people are positively embracing rather than using such sexuality and I can also accept women being used to sell things to us if men and their sexuality can be used too, though I still have concern about using the wonderment of sexuality to sell anything. As I said, it’s complicated.
Because when all is said and done, it’s simply time to just get on and accept the very significant part that sex and sexuality plays in our lives, and if we accept advertising and commercialism as part of that (if we really have to) then let’s at least have something enjoyable to feast our eyes on.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………….
And so back to Vulva!
I want that body in so many ways!
But I also want to turn someone on with my very own sweet fragrance, which apparently is in abundance if fingered properly.
I could go into my very own business of natural Vulva, if only I could work out a way of preserving it before it goes off.
Mmmm – what does out of date cum smell like?
Monday 7 September 2009
Sex and Science
From time to time, I do like to search the internet for proof that I am not pissing on my partner’s pubes. It’s a long but not laborious task in trying to find some actual scientific proof that the female ejaculate is different from urine.
But I still find it incredible that this has not been resolved once and for all.
It’s not that I really need to be told. I have my own experiences. I know that what I emit from my juicy one doesn’t smell like urine. It doesn’t have the same sensation as pissing and there is clearly a build up of all sorts of intricate parts of my inner body that assure me that something very different is happening.
And not to put too crude a point on this issue, I have tasted it. I have licked my own fingers having had a gushing wank. I have taken a cock in my mouth which is smothered in my juices and tasted that sexiness.
Not that I have tasted my own pee, of course, but I am sure it does not taste as sweet.
So, getting back to Wilhelm Reich, I have only done a meagre amount of research on him over the years. The thing that I am completely fascinated by is that his major work was written in 1940.
I rather like the fact that he was continuing with this important piece of research in the middle of the catastrophes of World War Two because even though the countries and towns of Europe were being bombed to smithereens, he still felt that sex was too important to be overlooked.
He even stated quite categorically how important the human orgasm was to our wellbeing, and considering the time of writing, this was pretty damn thoughtful.
The other thing that fascinates me is that this work was done nearly seventy years ago and still the work has not been finished and Reich’s work has still not been mainstreamed as far as his thinking.
More to the point, there are many aspects of what he started that have not even been researched properly.
I wish he was still alive. I find it very difficult to imagine that he would have happily sat by and allowed this confusion over the female orgasm to continue. I am sure that Reich would have readily participated in some very careful scientific theory on the subject. I think he would have happily participated for his own personal pleasure too. He knew a thing or too about the force of sex, even though much of his work was based on theory rather than tried and tested scientific experimentation.
I would love to have talked to him, not just about sexuality but about all of his theories. I really like the idea of someone understanding so clearly the huge impact that sex has on our lives.
Anyway, whilst looking around once more for some living proof that the female ejaculation is indeed a wonderful source all of its own, I discovered some other scientific research on sexuality …… or so I thought!
A good piece of synchronicity, I thought, in more ways than one!
I discovered something about using MRI scans to ascertain some ground breaking information about sex.
See it in action below
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17662-human-sex-from-the-inside-out.html
The objective for this experiment was as follows.
To find out whether taking images of the male and female genitals during coitus is feasible and to find out whether former and current ideas about the anatomy during sexual intercourse and during female sexual arousal are based on assumptions or on facts.
The conclusion to this piece of dramatic scientific experiment was this.
What started as artistic and scientific curiosity has now been realised. We have shown that magnetic resonance images of the female sexual response and the male and female genitals during coitus are feasible and beautiful; that the penis during intercourse in the "missionary position" has the shape of a boomerang and not of an S as drawn by Dickinson; and that, in contrast to the findings of Masters and Johnson, there was no evidence of an increase in the volume of the uterus during sexual arousal.
Wow! I can rest well in bed tonight with the conclusions from this masterpiece!
See the rest of this bewilderment here!
http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/319/7225/1596
It is the most mind-numbingly bizarre piece of writing I have read in a long time.
Apparently, the women involved reported that they had no G spot and did not ejaculate during penetrative sex. Of the 11 women in the experiment, which basically entailed fucking in a tunnel, 8 of them said that they had a superficial orgasm. It said that the uterus rises during stimulation but does not increase in size during penetration.
It goes on. You really must read it!
There are all sorts of sequential facts about what happens to the body during sex but nothing, for me about “whether former and current ideas about the anatomy during sexual intercourse and during female sexual arousal are based on assumptions or on facts” other than the bleeding obvious!
There are no facts about female cum. I’m not even sure they had real women in that tunnel thing! I bet they didn’t have forty year olds at the alleged height of their sexuality.
The point of all this, albeit short piece of writing is that this is not good enough.
I know how my body moves around when I am aroused. I can bloody well feel it and if I am lucky enough, I will have someone poking a video camera down there so that I can actually see it for myself at a later time. Unlike the women in the experiment, I am pretty damn sure that I have a G-Spot because it spurts into life when it is caressed. I’m pretty damn sure that all the movement of inflation in the uterus happens when I am aroused too. The swelling induced from some careful finger fucks or delightful fist fucks is something I am well aware of, especially when it is swiftly followed by a hard cock rubbing on those beautifully stimulated parts of my body.
I don’t need to have sex in an MRI scanning machine to tell me that but I’d really quite like to have something look at what happens to the inside of my body when I ejaculate.
I wonder what Wilhelm Reich would have done with all this technology. I doubt if he would have been satisfied with this sort of stuff, sixty years after his Orgone work.
More later, bed now!
But I still find it incredible that this has not been resolved once and for all.
It’s not that I really need to be told. I have my own experiences. I know that what I emit from my juicy one doesn’t smell like urine. It doesn’t have the same sensation as pissing and there is clearly a build up of all sorts of intricate parts of my inner body that assure me that something very different is happening.
And not to put too crude a point on this issue, I have tasted it. I have licked my own fingers having had a gushing wank. I have taken a cock in my mouth which is smothered in my juices and tasted that sexiness.
Not that I have tasted my own pee, of course, but I am sure it does not taste as sweet.
So, getting back to Wilhelm Reich, I have only done a meagre amount of research on him over the years. The thing that I am completely fascinated by is that his major work was written in 1940.
I rather like the fact that he was continuing with this important piece of research in the middle of the catastrophes of World War Two because even though the countries and towns of Europe were being bombed to smithereens, he still felt that sex was too important to be overlooked.
He even stated quite categorically how important the human orgasm was to our wellbeing, and considering the time of writing, this was pretty damn thoughtful.
The other thing that fascinates me is that this work was done nearly seventy years ago and still the work has not been finished and Reich’s work has still not been mainstreamed as far as his thinking.
More to the point, there are many aspects of what he started that have not even been researched properly.
I wish he was still alive. I find it very difficult to imagine that he would have happily sat by and allowed this confusion over the female orgasm to continue. I am sure that Reich would have readily participated in some very careful scientific theory on the subject. I think he would have happily participated for his own personal pleasure too. He knew a thing or too about the force of sex, even though much of his work was based on theory rather than tried and tested scientific experimentation.
I would love to have talked to him, not just about sexuality but about all of his theories. I really like the idea of someone understanding so clearly the huge impact that sex has on our lives.
Anyway, whilst looking around once more for some living proof that the female ejaculation is indeed a wonderful source all of its own, I discovered some other scientific research on sexuality …… or so I thought!
A good piece of synchronicity, I thought, in more ways than one!
I discovered something about using MRI scans to ascertain some ground breaking information about sex.
See it in action below
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17662-human-sex-from-the-inside-out.html
The objective for this experiment was as follows.
To find out whether taking images of the male and female genitals during coitus is feasible and to find out whether former and current ideas about the anatomy during sexual intercourse and during female sexual arousal are based on assumptions or on facts.
The conclusion to this piece of dramatic scientific experiment was this.
What started as artistic and scientific curiosity has now been realised. We have shown that magnetic resonance images of the female sexual response and the male and female genitals during coitus are feasible and beautiful; that the penis during intercourse in the "missionary position" has the shape of a boomerang and not of an S as drawn by Dickinson; and that, in contrast to the findings of Masters and Johnson, there was no evidence of an increase in the volume of the uterus during sexual arousal.
Wow! I can rest well in bed tonight with the conclusions from this masterpiece!
See the rest of this bewilderment here!
http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/319/7225/1596
It is the most mind-numbingly bizarre piece of writing I have read in a long time.
Apparently, the women involved reported that they had no G spot and did not ejaculate during penetrative sex. Of the 11 women in the experiment, which basically entailed fucking in a tunnel, 8 of them said that they had a superficial orgasm. It said that the uterus rises during stimulation but does not increase in size during penetration.
It goes on. You really must read it!
There are all sorts of sequential facts about what happens to the body during sex but nothing, for me about “whether former and current ideas about the anatomy during sexual intercourse and during female sexual arousal are based on assumptions or on facts” other than the bleeding obvious!
There are no facts about female cum. I’m not even sure they had real women in that tunnel thing! I bet they didn’t have forty year olds at the alleged height of their sexuality.
The point of all this, albeit short piece of writing is that this is not good enough.
I know how my body moves around when I am aroused. I can bloody well feel it and if I am lucky enough, I will have someone poking a video camera down there so that I can actually see it for myself at a later time. Unlike the women in the experiment, I am pretty damn sure that I have a G-Spot because it spurts into life when it is caressed. I’m pretty damn sure that all the movement of inflation in the uterus happens when I am aroused too. The swelling induced from some careful finger fucks or delightful fist fucks is something I am well aware of, especially when it is swiftly followed by a hard cock rubbing on those beautifully stimulated parts of my body.
I don’t need to have sex in an MRI scanning machine to tell me that but I’d really quite like to have something look at what happens to the inside of my body when I ejaculate.
I wonder what Wilhelm Reich would have done with all this technology. I doubt if he would have been satisfied with this sort of stuff, sixty years after his Orgone work.
More later, bed now!
Let's start talking people
Let’s start talking people!
I am suffering once more from a writer’s block of sorts, which is rather a pity as I seem to have quite a lot that I want to say at the moment too. I am also somewhat concerned that Zenpuss has not been purring frequently recently and it seems appropriate, therefore, to do something about it, i.e. write down a collection of thoughts that just spring into my mind from time to time, ably supported by a range of impetus from newspaper articles to website roaming to simply sitting and listening to a damn fine piece of passionate music.
These are merely snippets that I may want to expand on at a later date but I fear that if I do not write anything down soon, all of the thoughts will become a jumbled mess and that will certainly not help with my writing block.
So where to start?
Women thinking about sex
There has long been a notion that men think about sex far more frequently than women. Recent research has suggested that this may not be the case. There is a possibility that women think about sex as frequently as most men. Furthermore, they think about their sexuality and sexual attraction even more than men, according to some research into the subject, which could potentially mean that women actually think about sex more often than men.
But where is the evidence in real life?
Yes, there is a possibility that men think about sex but don’t necessarily vocalise this. I know of very few men who are comfortable enough to actually talk openly about sex and sexuality between themselves in the way that it is suggested that women do. That in itself is another subject for a blog. I would have to say that I find it extremely exciting for a man to talk to his male friend about his likes and dislikes, his desires and what he wants from a damn fine fuck. They don’t tend to do that unless they are extremely liberated and comfortable with one another but why should it not be the norm? Of course, I am talking about heterosexual men here. My homosexual friends seem more than happy to talk about sex. Personally, I think there is quite a lot we can learn from homosexual openness and honesty about sex and sexuality but more of that another time.
Let us get back to women.
I wish to goodness I could find the link to this recent survey/research on the issue but if my memory serves me correctly, the article was stating essentially that women do think about sex just as much and possibly more than men.
Good, I’m glad to hear it. I’m not alone. I’m not some kind of freak!
However, if that is the case, then why are we still stuck with this ridiculous notion that the prevalence of sexual thought is the domain of a man? Yes, you do get situations when women get together and discuss sex. They do talk about dildos and horny cocks. They explain to their girlfriends what they like, when they get horny, if a particular sexual experience was a good one and all of this is very positive. Yet, it is not breaking this myth. It is not translating into a factual understanding that women are sexual beings in the same way that men are.
It is okay for a man to admit to thinking about sex. It is still not as acceptable for a woman to admit to the frequency of her thoughts, despite the fact that women do talk about it with their friends.
I beg women out there to just admit it because until they do, then we can never really get the equality of sexuality that we deserve. I know that some may find such a statement a little far fetched but sex is very important. It should be important in everyone’s lives and for women to pretend that it isn’t because it is not socially acceptable to admit that you are thinking about sex just reiterates the notion that sex is mainly a man’s thing! To ignore our thoughts on sex could actually give the impression that men should be ‘in charge’ of sex and that cannot be a good thing for a range of reasons. That is what I mean about the equality of sexuality.
By admitting and understanding that women have sexual thoughts as frequently as men could actually really shift the emphasis in all things sexual and we could finally start to put some real work into investigating the whole field of female sexuality in a way that has not really been done in a definitive way.
It’s time to do more than think sex. It’s time to tell everyone that we are thinking about sex.
Wilhelm Reich and beyond
I do not want to mention too much about this because I have just found something on the internet that warrants a blog of its own. However, what I do want to say is this.
There is plenty on the internet about female sexuality. You could spend an entire week trawling through pages and pages of the stuff but I am not sure that any of it would really tell you anything different, and it certainly doesn’t come to any conclusions about female orgasms. I mean there is still no evidence one way or another, once and for all about female ejaculation.
Wilhelm Reich was interested in orgasms, and from what I can gather, he wasn’t just interested in male orgasms either. He saw orgasms as an important area of study because he recognised that orgasms were an important part of life.
Think about it. What other area of life has less conclusive evidence than sex, particularly female sex?
Again, just simply accepting this is not good enough. Where are the people that are following through with the important work that Reich started? Where are the women who are demanding to know the truth once and for all? Why do we allow researchers to flit away the opportunities for making life shattering discoveries about female sexuality that would bring such benefits to humankind?
Let’s start talking, people!
Fay Weldon
She got into trouble again recently by telling women that there were more important things to worry about than picking up dirty linen from the floor where partners etc may have left them. The usual cries of outrage from feminists erupted. We are not any slave for a male be it in the bedroom or on the bedroom floor retrieving used underwear! What is more important than being equal, cried the women around the country?
Well, I’ll tell you! What Fay Weldon was actually saying was that there are more important things to worry about. Instead of worrying about socks on the floor, why not think about sex instead? It would be better for you to consider sexual excitement than worry about who is responsible for picking up the socks? Weldon went on to say that women of a certain age should not be worrying about their career and that they should just get on with enjoying procreating if that is what a woman wants.
And it is absolutely about this. What women want!
Feminism for me is not totally about striving for an equality that may not be feasible due to physical differences between men and women. The equality that Zenpuss is talking about is the freedom to choose, the right to express yourself sexually without fear of name calling or misunderstanding. Feminism is about being able to make the choice that is good and right for you, and is hopefully as good for your partner. Sexual feminism is about determining what is most important? Worrying about picking up socks or being more concerned about when you can get a delicious twelve incher inside of you? Isn’t that far more liberating and an exciting thing to get your knickers in a twist about.
So next time you are peeved that your man has dropped his socks on the floor, just think that picking them up might get you an extra good fuck for the privilege of picking up his soiled ones.
Of course, I am being slightly flippant here. I would no sooner pick up washing that didn’t belong to me than any other arsy woman. I’m just trying to reiterate that there are actually more important things to worry about, and for me, being able to be sexually equal is one of them.
Speak up folks!
Feeling free
There are many ways that a woman can feel free, and I am sure that being free about our sexuality is an important part of that. Talking about sex is one way but just being honest about ourselves, with ourselves, with our sexuality is another.
On the weekend, I went for a longish bike ride. I was wearing a vest top and I am afraid vanity got the better of me. I didn’t like the fact that my bra was showing as much as it was, and I thought that perhaps I would look better without it on.
So I whipped it off and just travelled along on my bike au naturel, deciding that drooping tits was preferable to unsightly bra straps on my back.
I am not an exhibitionist. I would actually be quite mortified if people thought that I was de-robing purely in the vain hope that it might titillate a passer by. If I want to be sexual about my tits then I will be. There is a time and a place.
This expedition in liberation was precisely that. It was about me feeling good about myself and to some extent being in touch with my sexuality. When you have tits of a certain size and you choose to go braless on a bike ride, you are more than aware that you are a woman with a handful or two, and that is good.
You see, people really ought to be more aware of their sexuality, not just for other people but for themselves as well.
Demanding sex
Nobody should demand sex. My lover has actually said on occasions that he would be happy to oblige if I just wanted to pop over for sex. I’d like that. I’d love to be able to phone up and say, guess what, I really fancy a shag. But then he knows that is often on my mind and it is often something that I want. No demands are necessary.
I return once more to my issue about women speaking up about their sexuality though.
Again, it is accepted and expected that men want sex. Not only do they think about it, they actually want it. That is understandable and appreciated.
Women, however, well it is slightly different. There is less expectation about female desire and female ‘need’ for sexual stimulation, and really that is a shame. Women should not only think about sex but they should do something about it and if they want sex with someone then they should speak out and say so, if circumstances enable them to do so.
I am not advocating that everyone should rush out and just ask for sex from whoever they fancy. Let’s face it. There’s a possibility that this wouldn’t actually work too well. But being honest and upfront about sexuality and being prepared to be accepted as a sexual being would certainly help.
As for me, well, I don’t think I would want anyone to have sex with me if they didn’t want to. I don’t think I would want anyone to have sex with me if they didn’t get equal amount of enjoyment and stimulation from it.
I’ve said before that the really exciting thing about sex for me is being able to give and receive in equal amounts; physically, spiritually, sexually – with feeling and with passion. Sex does not get any better than this. All encompassing, pure and blissful!
I heard a great line from someone the other day. From memory, this comment came from a woman, and I think it was a comedienne. She said “Why the hell do women expect an orgasm every time they have sex? Surely it would be better to just get on and enjoy it instead of worrying about climax. You cannot possibly expect an orgasm every single time!”
And this is precisely why we should talk about sex.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!
It isn’t about demanding or expecting an orgasm. That would be wrong but the simple fact is that if it is right, if someone touches you in the right way, if you feel something more than the physical presence of a beautiful cock inside you, then you are likely to get an orgasm every time.
And women should at least entertain the notion that they are entitled to sexual climax.
Women really should be thinking that it is possible to climax every time. It should be within their expectation even if they shouldn’t actually expect it, if you see what I mean.
You see, if everything is right, you can expect an orgasm every time, not out of some sort of dire necessity, not out of the idea that this is the only thing that is important about love-making but women should realise that it is not unusual or unexpected and it should actually be the norm rather than the unexpected to have orgasms during penetrative sex.
Furthermore, women should know that orgasms come in all shapes and sizes and there is nothing wrong or abnormal or weird about gushing forth an exciting and excitable amount of fluid from their pussies. It is such a sight to see a woman so aroused that she has to flood this gorgeous gush out of her.
I really do think that, for me, this has been one of the most pleasurable and life-changing experiences but unless I had talked about it, unless I had found out and watched, unless I had been honest about my sexuality, I may have continued to suppress and deny this integral part of my sexuality.
It’s so good to talk, it’s so wonderful to think and I am eternally grateful that I can be honest about my sexuality, although it isn’t quite as nymph-like as is sometimes implied through this writing. I do have some control on my sexuality too.
Having said that, as soon as I think about sex, I really begin to want a fuck and I really want to give fucks too.
I like giving a fuck!
I am suffering once more from a writer’s block of sorts, which is rather a pity as I seem to have quite a lot that I want to say at the moment too. I am also somewhat concerned that Zenpuss has not been purring frequently recently and it seems appropriate, therefore, to do something about it, i.e. write down a collection of thoughts that just spring into my mind from time to time, ably supported by a range of impetus from newspaper articles to website roaming to simply sitting and listening to a damn fine piece of passionate music.
These are merely snippets that I may want to expand on at a later date but I fear that if I do not write anything down soon, all of the thoughts will become a jumbled mess and that will certainly not help with my writing block.
So where to start?
Women thinking about sex
There has long been a notion that men think about sex far more frequently than women. Recent research has suggested that this may not be the case. There is a possibility that women think about sex as frequently as most men. Furthermore, they think about their sexuality and sexual attraction even more than men, according to some research into the subject, which could potentially mean that women actually think about sex more often than men.
But where is the evidence in real life?
Yes, there is a possibility that men think about sex but don’t necessarily vocalise this. I know of very few men who are comfortable enough to actually talk openly about sex and sexuality between themselves in the way that it is suggested that women do. That in itself is another subject for a blog. I would have to say that I find it extremely exciting for a man to talk to his male friend about his likes and dislikes, his desires and what he wants from a damn fine fuck. They don’t tend to do that unless they are extremely liberated and comfortable with one another but why should it not be the norm? Of course, I am talking about heterosexual men here. My homosexual friends seem more than happy to talk about sex. Personally, I think there is quite a lot we can learn from homosexual openness and honesty about sex and sexuality but more of that another time.
Let us get back to women.
I wish to goodness I could find the link to this recent survey/research on the issue but if my memory serves me correctly, the article was stating essentially that women do think about sex just as much and possibly more than men.
Good, I’m glad to hear it. I’m not alone. I’m not some kind of freak!
However, if that is the case, then why are we still stuck with this ridiculous notion that the prevalence of sexual thought is the domain of a man? Yes, you do get situations when women get together and discuss sex. They do talk about dildos and horny cocks. They explain to their girlfriends what they like, when they get horny, if a particular sexual experience was a good one and all of this is very positive. Yet, it is not breaking this myth. It is not translating into a factual understanding that women are sexual beings in the same way that men are.
It is okay for a man to admit to thinking about sex. It is still not as acceptable for a woman to admit to the frequency of her thoughts, despite the fact that women do talk about it with their friends.
I beg women out there to just admit it because until they do, then we can never really get the equality of sexuality that we deserve. I know that some may find such a statement a little far fetched but sex is very important. It should be important in everyone’s lives and for women to pretend that it isn’t because it is not socially acceptable to admit that you are thinking about sex just reiterates the notion that sex is mainly a man’s thing! To ignore our thoughts on sex could actually give the impression that men should be ‘in charge’ of sex and that cannot be a good thing for a range of reasons. That is what I mean about the equality of sexuality.
By admitting and understanding that women have sexual thoughts as frequently as men could actually really shift the emphasis in all things sexual and we could finally start to put some real work into investigating the whole field of female sexuality in a way that has not really been done in a definitive way.
It’s time to do more than think sex. It’s time to tell everyone that we are thinking about sex.
Wilhelm Reich and beyond
I do not want to mention too much about this because I have just found something on the internet that warrants a blog of its own. However, what I do want to say is this.
There is plenty on the internet about female sexuality. You could spend an entire week trawling through pages and pages of the stuff but I am not sure that any of it would really tell you anything different, and it certainly doesn’t come to any conclusions about female orgasms. I mean there is still no evidence one way or another, once and for all about female ejaculation.
Wilhelm Reich was interested in orgasms, and from what I can gather, he wasn’t just interested in male orgasms either. He saw orgasms as an important area of study because he recognised that orgasms were an important part of life.
Think about it. What other area of life has less conclusive evidence than sex, particularly female sex?
Again, just simply accepting this is not good enough. Where are the people that are following through with the important work that Reich started? Where are the women who are demanding to know the truth once and for all? Why do we allow researchers to flit away the opportunities for making life shattering discoveries about female sexuality that would bring such benefits to humankind?
Let’s start talking, people!
Fay Weldon
She got into trouble again recently by telling women that there were more important things to worry about than picking up dirty linen from the floor where partners etc may have left them. The usual cries of outrage from feminists erupted. We are not any slave for a male be it in the bedroom or on the bedroom floor retrieving used underwear! What is more important than being equal, cried the women around the country?
Well, I’ll tell you! What Fay Weldon was actually saying was that there are more important things to worry about. Instead of worrying about socks on the floor, why not think about sex instead? It would be better for you to consider sexual excitement than worry about who is responsible for picking up the socks? Weldon went on to say that women of a certain age should not be worrying about their career and that they should just get on with enjoying procreating if that is what a woman wants.
And it is absolutely about this. What women want!
Feminism for me is not totally about striving for an equality that may not be feasible due to physical differences between men and women. The equality that Zenpuss is talking about is the freedom to choose, the right to express yourself sexually without fear of name calling or misunderstanding. Feminism is about being able to make the choice that is good and right for you, and is hopefully as good for your partner. Sexual feminism is about determining what is most important? Worrying about picking up socks or being more concerned about when you can get a delicious twelve incher inside of you? Isn’t that far more liberating and an exciting thing to get your knickers in a twist about.
So next time you are peeved that your man has dropped his socks on the floor, just think that picking them up might get you an extra good fuck for the privilege of picking up his soiled ones.
Of course, I am being slightly flippant here. I would no sooner pick up washing that didn’t belong to me than any other arsy woman. I’m just trying to reiterate that there are actually more important things to worry about, and for me, being able to be sexually equal is one of them.
Speak up folks!
Feeling free
There are many ways that a woman can feel free, and I am sure that being free about our sexuality is an important part of that. Talking about sex is one way but just being honest about ourselves, with ourselves, with our sexuality is another.
On the weekend, I went for a longish bike ride. I was wearing a vest top and I am afraid vanity got the better of me. I didn’t like the fact that my bra was showing as much as it was, and I thought that perhaps I would look better without it on.
So I whipped it off and just travelled along on my bike au naturel, deciding that drooping tits was preferable to unsightly bra straps on my back.
I am not an exhibitionist. I would actually be quite mortified if people thought that I was de-robing purely in the vain hope that it might titillate a passer by. If I want to be sexual about my tits then I will be. There is a time and a place.
This expedition in liberation was precisely that. It was about me feeling good about myself and to some extent being in touch with my sexuality. When you have tits of a certain size and you choose to go braless on a bike ride, you are more than aware that you are a woman with a handful or two, and that is good.
You see, people really ought to be more aware of their sexuality, not just for other people but for themselves as well.
Demanding sex
Nobody should demand sex. My lover has actually said on occasions that he would be happy to oblige if I just wanted to pop over for sex. I’d like that. I’d love to be able to phone up and say, guess what, I really fancy a shag. But then he knows that is often on my mind and it is often something that I want. No demands are necessary.
I return once more to my issue about women speaking up about their sexuality though.
Again, it is accepted and expected that men want sex. Not only do they think about it, they actually want it. That is understandable and appreciated.
Women, however, well it is slightly different. There is less expectation about female desire and female ‘need’ for sexual stimulation, and really that is a shame. Women should not only think about sex but they should do something about it and if they want sex with someone then they should speak out and say so, if circumstances enable them to do so.
I am not advocating that everyone should rush out and just ask for sex from whoever they fancy. Let’s face it. There’s a possibility that this wouldn’t actually work too well. But being honest and upfront about sexuality and being prepared to be accepted as a sexual being would certainly help.
As for me, well, I don’t think I would want anyone to have sex with me if they didn’t want to. I don’t think I would want anyone to have sex with me if they didn’t get equal amount of enjoyment and stimulation from it.
I’ve said before that the really exciting thing about sex for me is being able to give and receive in equal amounts; physically, spiritually, sexually – with feeling and with passion. Sex does not get any better than this. All encompassing, pure and blissful!
I heard a great line from someone the other day. From memory, this comment came from a woman, and I think it was a comedienne. She said “Why the hell do women expect an orgasm every time they have sex? Surely it would be better to just get on and enjoy it instead of worrying about climax. You cannot possibly expect an orgasm every single time!”
And this is precisely why we should talk about sex.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!
It isn’t about demanding or expecting an orgasm. That would be wrong but the simple fact is that if it is right, if someone touches you in the right way, if you feel something more than the physical presence of a beautiful cock inside you, then you are likely to get an orgasm every time.
And women should at least entertain the notion that they are entitled to sexual climax.
Women really should be thinking that it is possible to climax every time. It should be within their expectation even if they shouldn’t actually expect it, if you see what I mean.
You see, if everything is right, you can expect an orgasm every time, not out of some sort of dire necessity, not out of the idea that this is the only thing that is important about love-making but women should realise that it is not unusual or unexpected and it should actually be the norm rather than the unexpected to have orgasms during penetrative sex.
Furthermore, women should know that orgasms come in all shapes and sizes and there is nothing wrong or abnormal or weird about gushing forth an exciting and excitable amount of fluid from their pussies. It is such a sight to see a woman so aroused that she has to flood this gorgeous gush out of her.
I really do think that, for me, this has been one of the most pleasurable and life-changing experiences but unless I had talked about it, unless I had found out and watched, unless I had been honest about my sexuality, I may have continued to suppress and deny this integral part of my sexuality.
It’s so good to talk, it’s so wonderful to think and I am eternally grateful that I can be honest about my sexuality, although it isn’t quite as nymph-like as is sometimes implied through this writing. I do have some control on my sexuality too.
Having said that, as soon as I think about sex, I really begin to want a fuck and I really want to give fucks too.
I like giving a fuck!
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