My dear Tanya. You’ve got me all going again on a fine Saturday
morning but not necessarily in a positive way.
Ms. Gold is fed up. She is quite right to be so. She
complains that women are still not getting a fair deal. She explains that there
is still a 15% pay gap between men and women which cannot possibly be right in
the 21st century. She cries in pain at the failings of the feminist
movement and the fact that there seems no spunk (excuse the pun) in their
activities. She says that the media is to blame for frothing women into nothing
but consumers whilst simultaneously filling our minds with trivial irrelevances.
As someone recently stated, there is an off button if you do not want to watch
crap, and there is a choice for all not to read rubbish in the press.
Which brings me carefully back to Ms Gold’s article.
When oh when oh when are women going to stop bickering
with one another and get on with the job in hand (I’m doing well with me
innuendos so far)?
I am serious. And so is Tanya.
There is plenty wrong with the way that women are treated
and portrayed in life, in the media, in the home.
Women do not earn as much as men for a variety of
reasons. Firstly, there is an inherent misogynism in this country. Our world is
ruled by men, for men. They have the ultimate power and until women realise
their own worth, not as a man but as a woman – collectively – this is not going
to change.
Secondly, women are paid less than men over a lifetime
because they have time off work for having babies. Not only does this
interruption halt their pay for a period of time, but it prevents them from
climbing the professional ladder at the same pace as their male counterparts,
unless they are a particular type of woman who is probably playing the game as
a misogynist in tights and a pencil skirt. Thirdly, women do not have the
confidence to use their erotic capital – and more of that later.
There are lots of other reasons why women do not earn as
much as men but these are just three to be going on with at the moment and, as
Gold points out, there are other factors to do with women being more prevalent
in caring professions or public sector, therefore they are feeling the punch of
redundancy more than men at present.
What Ms Gold and many feminists fail to appreciate,
however, is that we are failing so many women by not empowering them with their
own minds and their own bodies.
And that is the biggest tragedy of all.
Ms. Gold opened her comments with a snide hit at the new
BBC television programme which appears to be a cross between Mad Men and the
Virgin advert that had a group of gorgeous women marching through an airport.
She is fed up with these images belittling women and putting them down as
nothing but a sexual commodity.
Here’s the thing, Tanya, and I say this as a woman who is
deeply committed to the feminist movement. We are a sexual commodity and we should damn well celebrate the fact.
Catherine Hakim recently wrote a book all about the
subject which I believe I have referred to before.
“Why do some people seem to lead charmed lives? They are attractive, but also lively, friendly and charismatic. People want to be around them. Doors open for them. The answer, this book shows, is in the power of erotic capital - the overlooked human asset that is at the heart of how we work, interact, make money, succeed and conduct our relationships.Catherine Hakim's groundbreaking book reveals how erotic capital is just as influential in life as how rich, clever, educated or well-connected we are. Drawing on hard evidence, she illustrates how this potent force develops from an early age, with attractive children assumed to be intelligent, competent and good. She examines how women and men learn to exploit it throughout their lives, how it differs across cultures and how it affects all spheres of activity, from dating and mating to politics, business, film, music , the arts and sport. She also explores why erotic capital is growing in importance in today's highly sexualised culture and yet, ironically, as a 'feminine' virtue, remains sidelined.Honey Money is a call for us to recognize the economic and social value of erotic capital, and truly acknowledge beauty and pleasure. This will not only change the role of women in society, getting them a better deal in both public and private life - it could also revolutionize our power structures, big business, the sex industry, government, marriage, education and almost everything we do.”
Ms Hakim was understandably defensive about her work
every time I saw her on the television. She debated with many people who I
greatly respect, for example the capable Laurie Penny, who writes so well for
the New Statesman and occasionally the Guardian too. Zoe Williams had a
terrible run-in with her over lunch and in my opinion, missed some important
points in Ms. Hakim’s work.
For Ms. Hakim is trying to highlight an important issue
even if that point was not particularly well made in some people’s minds.
And it is this.
As women, we have erotic capital. We have the natural
curves and kindness that enables us to have something to offer that no man on
earth can. We have sexuality in our tits and in our pussies, in our legs and the
way that we cover them or leave them bare. We have the ability to dress
confidently and courageously without looking as though we are the local
slapper. We have the opportunity to enhance our already beautiful features with
an array of products or just plain soap and water, if we are sensible.
Women are beautiful. The female form is the most stunning
thing known to human life, both men and women, and we are not capitalising on
this and never have.
Feminists had a vital role to play throughout history.
They were fighting important battles; for recognition, for enfranchisement, for
equality in the workplace, for opportunity. And I for one am eternally grateful
for their efforts.
However, as I have stated on more than one occasion, they
did it at a cost. The feminists of the 60s burned their bras quite rightly
because they wanted to make it perfectly clear that they were not at the beckon
call of men. They were not mere sexual objects that could open their legs
whenever a man desired as if this was their only function in life.
But what they forgot was their own enjoyment in all of
this, or perhaps they had never actually found it.
Women are sexual beings and are as entitled and capable
of enjoying sex as much as any man.
And we have got it! They haven’t.
Which is why I hold a slightly different view to Ms.
Gold.
When I see that photograph of the actresses cum
trolley-dollies in their bright red Virgin outfits, I stop and stare too.
Admittedly, I am not so keen on the idea that this array of beauties prevents
me from getting on with life or becoming interested and empathetic to the Miner’s
strike or any other political story of the time, but I sure as hell look and I
sure as hell get excited, not just for their beauty but for the fact that these
are confident women, using not abusing their erotic capital and getting what they want, not what Mr. Branson or any
other capitalist man wants.
This is true feminism; a woman empowered through her own
body to aspire and to achieve, to be confident with her own body to ensure that
she gets the things in life that she wants. Yes, she is sexy. Yes, she is
stunning. Yes, she may well be using her looks to gain access to a professional
ladder that may well not be there without them but why shouldn’t she?
But it is she
that is making the choices.
If I looked as good as these women, I’d use my erotic
capital.
This thing about choice is really important. In the past
some feminists have suggested that whilst women think they are making a choice,
in actual fact all they are doing is fulfilling the dream of the misogynist.
Let us take these Virgin flight attendants as a point in
question.
There is the suggestion from feminists that the women
here have made a choice in their career but that choice and even that career is
solely there for the purpose and at the discretion of men. The only reason that
they have this career is to titillate and excite a man as he travels across the
Atlantic in is power-driven world, offering a kindly release from meeting after
meeting. The choice of them being there is man’s and all the stupid women are
doing is playing into their hands.
Well, yes, there is a possibility that this is partly
true or certainly was in the past but we need to move on. We need to ensure
that the choice is right back with women and that there is every possibility that
some women choose to be a flight attendant because a) they want to travel to
interesting places and b) they like their bodies, they are proud of their looks
and they get a little sensual or sexual excitement from others appreciating
them too.
It is the most subtlest of shifts that is required and
like a tipping point, if all women would stop this talk of a misogynist
take-over, then we could really start empowering ourselves for ourselves rather
than it having anything to do with men whatsoever.
Recently, I attended a Burlesque evening. What made me so
utterly content was that there were these women on the stage who were not
necessarily the most beautiful girls in the world. They were not the smallest
women, they were not the typical perfect size and yet they were there,
performing and being exceptionally proud and delighted in their ability to be
themselves. They were performing for men and women alike but most importantly
they were making a statement to say, “Yes, I have something. I have something
that is good and natural and I am celebrating it, in front of you all, and I am
happy to do so. I am doing it for me, not for you, though if you enjoy it too,
so much the better.”
They were using their erotic capital to good effect.
They were using their erotic capital not to get the
better of anybody but because they were simply enjoying being a woman, and this
is something that some feminists appear to want us to ignore.
Tanya Gold is right. We need more women in parliament. We
need equal pay and not this ghastly gap between men and women, but we also need
women to be women and to be proud of the fact. We need women to be sexual
beings and ensure that there is as much right to be sexual as a woman as it is
for a man.
There is no competition. We just need to lose this idea
and get on with being who we are.
And when it comes to erotic capital, well even this
phrase is slightly wrong.
Yes, we want women to capitalise on their womanhood, and
yes, this sometimes means expressing their sexuality to the point of being
erotic, but really, in most cases, we just want women to enjoy being women just
as men, I hope, enjoy being men.
Men and women are
different but we really have to get over this issue we have about the possible exploitation
of our sexuality by men. In some ways we are doing more exploitation by not
accepting the fact that we have this erotic capital. We are preventing some
women from being who they want to be.
And one final little gripe, Ms, Gold. You mention how
deplorable it is that women are seen as mere consumer fodder and then you add a
sentence like this.
“When the Chartered Management Institute (CMI) polled 34,158 male and female executives in the private sector last year, they learned the average pay gap between men and women doing the same job is £10,031, and the average woman will, as such, be cheated out of £330,000 in her lifetime, which is a lot for a feminist, and also for a consumer.”which I assume suggests that you think that some of the £10K shortfall would be spent on consumer products should fair pay exist because that is what women do!
Be careful.
We can twist and turn any argument and any sentence and
my point in doing this is to emphasise that we need a little conformity here.
We need to unite and not fight. We need to accept the difference between men
and women but most of all we need to empower women to be women and part of that
means reclaiming their sexuality and stop pretending that this world is full of
misogynists intent on having pussy all for themselves and their own purpose.
It is time for women to capitalise on being a woman and
being themselves without any glaring snarls from feminists or misogynists
alike.
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