Sex and periods

As I have started to tackle some issues that are not usually aired in public, I thought I would mention another unmentionable. Periods. Menstruation. The curse. The monthly visits. Actually, I'd rather discuss sex, not because I am remotely concerned about talking about periods, but because the stimulation of talking about sex is probably just what I need at the moment.

I have never shied away from talking about periods. It has always intrigued me as to why we women feel the need to be coy about something that is a natural cycle of being. When I left my job some years ago, I received the usual joint staff 'goodbye and good luck' card. Amongst the usual "all the best for the future" and "we're going to miss you" comments, I received one that still makes me laugh. A dear colleague wrote " now that you're going, who are we going to discuss tits, arses and fannies with?" Maybe she had insight into my future interests! Maybe she realised how a woman develops sexually as she approaches forty.
Anyhow, I've not shied away from periods. I've talked about the sodding length of them, the irrational moods you get a couple of days before, the need for feminax on the second day and the ridiculous cost of feminine hygiene. I've laughed with friends - one who had to ask a male friend to help locate an errant tampon (yes, he did have to go in) and exchanged stories with them about hard edged cardboard irresponsibly trimmed on the factory floor to provide maximum pain on insertion. They have sniggered at my notion that Tampax are favouring the womenfolk in the US of A by providing more comfortable tampons. Oh yes, I could give the heir to the throne a run for his money on tampon talk.

I mention all of this because it is yet another sign of women hiding their sexuality from the public domain. Let's all hide the fact that we're woman. Because that is what it is. Periods are a pain. They are uncomfortable, aching, sloppy nuisances. Periods play total havoc with your minds. Anyone who knows me realises that I can be mind blowingly stroppy and arsy just before my period where all rational thought can disappear. My friends have my monthly patterns of aggressive outbursts down to a tee. You can almost see their mental arithmetic minds jumping into action, remembering the last time I blew up at them. My already extended tummy takes on the look of a five month pregnant woman in its bloated monthly state. But despite all of this, we really should try and look at the lighter aspect.

Periods tell us we are fruitful, young and capable of procreating. They remind us of the fact that we have a sexual reproductive system, and are therefore sexual beings. They tell us that we are women. And yet we cannot talk about them willingly or openly. Cunts, tits and fannies. We are constantly trying to pretend they are not there. We hide them as soon as we can. We have secret little talks with our younger sisters about the curse. We don't even tell them all the facts accurately so that when they too have periods and have the same moodswings, the heavy tits and the pain right to the coxslyx, they think they are abnormal too and the myths self-perpetuate. And that is before we even get onto the myths of sexuality.

I read recently of how women in centuries beyond gathered together for their periods. In middle eastern countries they collected in tents. Imagine that, shedloads or rather tentloads of stroppy women all together, carefully herded away from their menfolk for forty eight hours! How wonderful indeed. But I hope we have moved on since these misogynistic times. We don't need to hide our sexuality any longer. Let's liberate ourselves so that we can say what we want, how we want it, what we need, how we enjoy it. You can start, if it is more comfortable to so by just freely talking about your pain in the monthlies. Once you feel comfortable with this, then maybe you might progress to admitting that you quite like sex, or that you fancy 'a bit of cock' from time to time. You might discuss how you get aroused, or is this too much? Maybe you could then move forward to discuss sex toys, to consider and report on your sexual fantasies. The idea is to feel comfortable, gradually and surely. By sharing our experiences without any element of gossip can only help us to enlighten and liberate people whose tenseness around their sexuality is enhanced by thinking they are not normal. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have the sexual freedom to admit that you want a big, juicy,stimulating cock inside you? Wouldn't it be great to freely state how much you are aroused by photographs of cocks in pussies? Wouldn't it be exciting to share sexual fantasies, to explain how you so desperately want to have sex in a field by a river, or in the back garden for any onlookers to view and get excited themselves (just a personal one!). I love the thought of someone being so aroused by seeing my wet pussy gobble up a needy cock that they instantly need to touch themselves and wank away until a pleasurable climax. Wouldn't it be liberating to tell the world that under the right conditions you can orgasm consecutively, wetting your partner with cascades of cum, pushing with your bulging and protruding organs so that their cock hardly has room in your cunt? All these freedoms can start by just mentioning the reality of being a woman and enduring that monthly pains.

It has been suggested that some women may be afraid of their cunts. They may not know how to touch it. They make not like the smell it produces. They may feel concerned about the little white juices that leave their stain on their panties. They may be terrified that they might pee during the excitement of sex. All concerns may relate to their experiences and ability to talk about periods. Being comfortable with menstruation and the fact that it happens may help overcome initial concerns about gushing. Inserting a tampon actually may help to get you familiar with the inside of your body, learning the shape and folds, knowing the position of your g spot in anticipation of something far bigger and readily welcomed than a tightknit bud of cotton wool.

Be comfortable with the fact that you have bodily fluids and your concerns with sex will dissiapte. Use towels. Not the little bricks for sanitation but the big. fluffy ones that can soak up your frequent and exciting gushes of bodily fluids. If you know you're juicy, be prepared, for as someone once said to me "I don't ever want you to hold back".

Finally, sex and periods. It's an individual thing, comfortable only if your sexual partners are of like mind. But as sexual beings, should we be ruling ourselves out of action for a potential quarter of every month? If the mood takes you, then go for it. I never liked having sex whilst having a period but that was when I was unfamiliar and unsure of my body and its sexuality. In the last six months, I have not let a period get in my way of sexual gratification. Having said that, it is now sometime since I had sex of any sort. Penetrative - seems like ages ago. Self stimulation - well even that has been too long. My tedious little period is on its sixth day, and is showing signs of vanishing, so I'll leave this blog and find my clitoris. My little finger is good and strong after typing, and it will easily walk its way down my body,into my panties, pushing down and around that oh so precious little spot that sends nerve tingling joy all over my body.