Four Letter Words

Miss you
Love you
Want you
Need you

None of these phrases are easily or glibly said, not by me anyway.
It’s such a pity that they are used so ‘randomly’ as the young people would say. In fact, I would go as far as to say that I resent them being used without the depth of feeling that such phrases require.

Living where I do, though I am sure this is the case across the nation, you often hear this coarse “Love ya babes”. It has its dialectical variations; “Luv yow, darlinggg”, “Love yew Sweetie” It has become a stock phrase and the sentiment behind it is diminished with the ease with which it trips out of a loud-mouthed person cockily declaring his or her attachment to friend or lover.
I fear it has little to do with real love, though I could be mistaken.

My sister occasionally texts me or telephones me and says “I love you”.
She means it. She’s not the sort of person who just delves this out as a matter of course. When she says it, you can feel that it has come right from her heart and her soul. At that moment, she feels a need to express her love for me. It really is quite genuine, and that makes it special.

‘Want’ and ‘need’ are also thrown around as so many simplistic words are. I’ve talked about this before; take the twenty stone lad who shouts at the top of his voice – “I need a burger!”
No, darling. You do not need a burger. You may have a desire for a greasy blob of meat. You may even think that you need it but you don’t actually need it. It is not an essential in your life.
I sometimes think that I need a cigarette or a drink but this is clearly utterly stupid. I do not need a cigarette. I need to think of a substitute for the times when I feel a cigarette is necessary. That is something that I need.

Even the word ‘want’ is misused. Sometimes it is said because it is an expectation. “I want you”.
Do you really, or do you feel a burden of expectation that forces your mouth to spill out these words?
Do you really want me or would you actually prefer a burger, if you were being totally truthful?

Such simple little words; miss, love, want, need!
Four letters, one syllable. To the point; precise. Yet the simplicity becomes just that if it is over-used.

Nice! There’s another one.

It’s interesting that when I was at school, I was encouraged never to call anything ‘nice’. It was too vague. It was not descriptive enough. It has little meaning because of its commonality. It says nothing.
The same could be said for these four words. They mean very little without passion, without force of feeling, without the essential emotions that accompany the words. Yet we still use and misuse them without thinking of the consequences of such statements.

Only some of us don’t use them glibly. Some of us use them because, in some ways, they are the most important simplistic words available.
In their simplicity, they convey their truest form. If this appears to contradict what I have just said then think again.
If words such as ‘love’ are used without thought, if they are uttered with triteness, then they become meaningless and simplistic. If they are used with a complete passion, they are still simplistic but in a totally different way. They are simplistic in their honesty and their clarity. They are bursting to the seams with realism and understanding, with expression and forcefulness.

“I miss you” – could simply be used at the end of a conversation. As soon as the phone is turned off or the door is closed, the speaker could forget this phrase and get on with the important deeds of the day. The ‘missing’ is lost in an instance and is therefore negated. It has been said because there is an expectation that these words should be used when unforeseen, uninvited or prolonged separation occurs.

“I’m going to miss you” he said. “I’m going to miss seeing you, kissing you, feeling you, holding you, fucking you, loving you”.
He didn’t say all of those additional statements. He didn’t need to. There’s plenty that he is going to miss and an infinite list of ‘doing’ words is not going to enhance the real and fully appreciated “miss you” statement.
“Miss you” says it all. Well at least it does when you know it is heartfelt. It means an incredible amount when such a phrase is not used randomly or too frequently. Yet, sometimes, it cannot be used too often.
If you really are going to miss someone special and someone important, then you really should say so. What else is there to say?

I am going to miss you. I always miss you when I am not able to be with you. Sometimes it is bearable. Other times the missing is so intense that a kind of misery overwhelms me. Whatever happens, the phrase “I miss you” or “missing you” or “I am going to miss you” is said with every ounce of humility and truth that I can muster. I never say it as a stock phrase. It means everything in its simplicity.

Love is so complicated that essays around the world have been written on the word. I have tried before to make sense of it as a word.
I love my friends, I love to write. I love a sun-drenched day. I love fucking. I love rivers. I love the sea.
It’s not wrong to use the word in these contexts but they pale into insignificance when compared with the time when I am lying in bed, having incredible sex, when I am completely enveloped in an overwhelming and euphoric state, where there is only one phrase that seems to fit.

“I love you” - because at that moment there is nothing more important than declaring that in its simplicity and its complexities. It doesn’t need reciprocation but I ‘love’ it when it is. It doesn’t need reciprocation but it is sometimes wanted.
I just wish there was another phrase that could be so conveniently delivered, that set it aside from the other uses of the word, and in its convenience it encapsulates the totality of the feeling.
“Love” as a word alone cannot do that but it possibly the best we have on offer.

How often do we use the words ‘want’ and ‘need’ in relation to sex? Again, they may be uttered incorrectly.
Again, I don’t think I do this.

They are such easy words to use but I cannot describe how important they are. My ‘want’ is ceaseless. My ‘need’ is real; very real. At times, I feel as though I am incomplete without the brilliance of the sex I currently enjoy. I genuinely need this sex to make me whole, to give me the bliss and completeness that I need to be me; to function, to live.
There is no flippancy in saying these words, there’s no cliché or convenience.
They come from my soul and they are not said slightly.

Four letter words.
There’s no coincidence in their succinct nature. They are to the point. They are precise.
Consider other four letter words; the words associated with sex and sexual parts of the body.
There’s a reason why they are so short. They get to the point where nothing else will do.

Sexual language and the language of thoughts and feelings are so important. We should consider how we use them. They convey everything and if used too soon or too often, they convey nothing.

Miss you, love you, want you, need you, fuck you, kiss you, fist you, suck you.
You get my meaning.

Miss you
Love you
Want you
Need you

I survive the absences but these four words remain there in tact. I function but I am not complete.
I do miss you and not just when you are away. I do love you and not just when we are intertwined. I do want you and not just sexually. I need you and am happy that I do.

Thank you for four letter words.