Celebrity Clothing

Last night I was mostly looking at Paris Hilton’s bottom. Quite a pert bottom it is too. Shame about the face but then if I had the money that Paris Hilton has, my bottom would look that pert too!

Synchronicity strikes once more for I happened upon her bottom a mere 24 hours after my lover and I had been discussing celebrity dressing and the fact that quite a few people had recently been photographed with their derrieres or tits on display.

I hadn’t been searching for Paris Hilton and her arse. It just came up on the front page of one of the more famous webs searchers. There it was, proud and exaggerated as she bent over to get something out of her car. She was wearing black leggings that became transparent as the paparazzi man’s shadow imprinted itself on her backside. You could see every line, crack and roundness.

It did make me wonder whether Paris knew what she was doing. I suspect that she did.

She had no knickers on, or if she did, she was wearing a very invisible G-String. So when she bent down to pick up the thing that had fallen out of her boot, she must have known that the cameras would take her photo and that it would reveal plenty of her toned arse.

And quite frankly, why shouldn’t she show off the best parts of her body? If she is going to be photographed wherever she goes, then she really ought to flaunt the bits of her that she thinks are most appealing.

Mylie Cyrus has just been celebrating her eighteenth birthday. She was photographed in a very uncompromising position, clearly half cut with her legs entangled in another’s. Her top was completely transparent and her bra was totally exposed.

She had chosen to go out dressed in this way because this was the look that suited her. She has a decent pair of tits for an eighteen year old and wearing a see-through top made her feel sexy.

Judging by the photos of what looked like simulated sex, her little outfit clearly got the result that she had anticipated; a good looking would-be lover between her thighs.

The beautiful and sexy Katy Perry/Brand does nothing to hide her voluptuous figure. She deliberately flaunts her wonderful figure to a world of awaiting flashing. She knows she looks bloody gorgeous and she quite rightly allows it all to be seen by the awaiting fans.

So all this flaunting is acceptable is it? Women in tights, revealing their panties is the fashion of the moment? It seems to be so.

Why are people so shocked then? Why is this more unacceptable than a woman flashing cleavage for instance?

I was thinking about this as I went for my evening swim.

There you are in the pool with complete strangers, happily and contentedly swimming around in a shared space with moreorless nothing on. An associate of mine, who I know vaguely, swims in the same place. He fashions a speedo look which hides nothing. As we climb out of the pool, me with my cleavage, him with his speedos, we talk about work totally unembarrassed by our near nudity. We wouldn’t dream of sitting at work together in our bra, panties and knickers. It would be most unseemly.

On holiday, you sit with friends and family in next to nothing and do not consider it to be weird or outlandish, and yet when you are all back in a house together with the constraints of bricks and mortar, you tightly wrap a towel around yourself as you come out of the shower, fearful that it will untie itself and reveal a body that you have already revealed to the awaiting eye on the beach only minutes before.

Boy, we are strange folk.

I mean, you wouldn’t dream of walking down to cook breakfast in your undies and yet you sit quite happily munching on a sarnie in your bikini and having a perfectly non-sexual conversation with friends as you are doing so.

We do have a very odd relationship with clothes and nudity. The juxtaposition and, quite frankly, complete hypocrisy is astounding. Why is a black bra more of a problem than a black bikini top?

What is wrong with a famous person or even a none-famous person revealing their lovely thighs in transparent trousers if they happen to have an arse worth looking at? Why is that more unacceptable than them walking around with a transparent top on revealing their bra to the world? And yet it is.

Perhaps it is something to do with, you know, what goes on down there!

Tits are functional for the milk that they produce and people can just about accept that. But showing the other bits, where man and woman jigsaw together? Hell no because then we would have to admit that we rather like cocks and cunts and our eyes would be drawn to the most precious parts of our body. And we should not look at other people’s bits, not those bits anyway.

But we are human beings. We are instinctive animals if only we would allow ourselves to be.

When I see a voluptuous woman with a good body, I am naturally drawn to inspect her cleavage. When I am walking down the street, I like to see the many beautiful forms I come across, both male and female. When I am in the swimming pool, I am naturally curious as to see what people are hiding in their trunks or their bathers. It does not mean that I am sexually attracted to every person that I see. Far from it. But I do admit to looking because that is a natural thing to do.

And if a person has the desire and confidence to draw attention to the best parts of their anatomy, then why should they not do that? Why are we so hopeless at admitting that we want to be voyeurs?

When I get dressed, I want to look good. I do not have the body of Paris Hilton, or the money sadly. I do not have the best tits or the most desirable arse in the world but what I do want to do is make myself look as presentable as possible, and in some situations I want to look as sexy as possible, and in others I just want to feel confident about how I look, sexy or not. I dress for me, and if other people take pleasure in my appearance then that is all for the good. If I can bring a smile to a face or a hard on to a cock, then that is all well and good.

If I had a body worth flaunting, I think I would flaunt it; not to attract attention but because it made ME feel good about myself (partly because of the attracted attention, let us not deny).

If I had parts of me that are sexually exciting, like good tits, and a toned tummy, I would wear the transparent tops for the world to see, not at work maybe, but elsewhere. If I had an arse to die for, I’d wear what Paris Hilton was wearing. Good on her!

Clothes can be incredibly sexy. Slightly clad people can be incredibly exciting, sometimes even more tantalising than complete nakedness – it feeds the imagination in a way that a full frontal cannot.

But we really do have an odd and contradictory relationship with clothes that in an enlightened society would not exist. A bra would be the same as a bikini top. Getting out of the pool in the altogether would be no different from sitting in a hot office in your bra.

Dream on Zenpuss. Our enlightenment is a long way off!