From the Sublime to the Ridiculous

From the Sublime to the Ridiculous – but which way round?

Sex is important. I think we have that one well established. It seems to inspire plenty of comment when there is an article about sex in the media, and yesterday was full of it.

Of course, every day should be full of it because it is such an important subject, and even if you choose abstinence, it is something that everyone has considered at some point in their lives.

So why are we still so confused by this essential part of life? Why does it have such complicated responses and views? Why do people find it so difficult to differentiate between loving intimacy and the physical act of sex? Why is there so much contradiction?

To illustrate the latter, let us look at two aspects of sexual entertainment; burlesque and lap dancing.

Both are currently in the news, both are rising in popularity and trendiness, both serve a purpose in the sexuality stakes, yet one is deemed as an acceptable, jaunty amusement and the other is a seen as a societal horror.

If you go to any local press website and review the last six months of stories, you will probably find an article or three about planning permission problems for lap-dancing clubs. Even the national press over the last year has carried a fair proportion of these stories, where local residents complain about the increase in ‘adult’ clubs and feminists worry about the exploitation of the vulnerable.

Liberal minded councillors are thrown into some sort of moral dilemma, juggling the rights of the individual to self-express and the needs of the community as well as a heavy dose of political correctness that usually sways them into the defensive.

It always amazes me how these clubs apparently get planning permission as long as they are not situated in close proximity to a school.

Why is this the case? Do they think that children only congregate at schools and are oblivious to their local surroundings at all other times? If a club was set up in the middle of nowhere, you can bet that children would still notice it. Thankfully, children still have their eyes open in a willingness and enthusiasm to learn about their world, so they would notice a club wherever it was placed.

And whilst we are on this subject, isn’t the objection regarding the proximity to children more about the adult inability to explain sex properly to children. Isn’t it about our hang ups and not the kids?

Before I go any further, I must reiterate that I regard sex as something for adults. I am appalled at the sexualisation of young people; something that I will comment on in the next post. However, we do our next generation no favours whatsoever by pretending that sex does not exist. Believe me, they know it is there and our inability to be honest and straight forward about sex makes the children all the more curious. We should explicitly tell these young people that sex is the most exhilarating, fascinating, brilliant and special thing in life, which is why it should only be entered into when the mind, body and spirit is ready for it, i.e. it is NOT for kids.

So, back to the Lap Dancing clubs; the scourge of local councils across the country. Should they allow these clubs to flourish? Is it not a safe place for those in “the trade” to sell their wares rather than endure the dangers of street prostitution? And there lies another myth – the two are not connected. Lap dancers titillate. They do not all offer anything other than a healthy dose of voyeurism. There are some that will do “extras” but in the main, they are just there to excite and energise the customer into feeling a little horny, enabling them to legally do something about it.

Lap dancing does not equate to free sex for all, or even paid sex.

Here, I return to one of my favourite subjects – female sexuality. The simple fact is that people cannot believe that women actually enjoy their sexuality and enjoy displaying their sexuality and their bodies because it makes them feel good. Nobody seems to understand that some of these women are doing this because they find it empowering to be so forthright and proud of their bodies.

I wish I had had the sort of sexual mentality that I have now when my body was more beautiful. I would happily cavort around a pole, simulating fucking, exciting the onlooker if I felt completely comfortable with my body being able to be appreciated by others.

Whether the clubs are just basic lap or pole-dancing places or whether they are offering something a little more sensational, they are frequently seen as tawdry, tasteless and corrupt places.

Quite frankly, in a contemporary world where full blown hard-core sex is but a mere hit of a mouse away, the lap dancers are incredibly tame.

Of course, there is a huge difference between the two dimensional viewing on a flat screen and having a curvaceous beauty feeling her tits in front of your face, but as was the case with “dirty mags” from decades ago, the cunt stays firmly out of reach or view, and even when they are on show, it is only that. A punter who gets too near or too frisky is soon given a metaphorical dose of cold water.

So why the concern about these clubs?

Well, I am beginning to wonder whether it is something to do with class and social stratum. You see, it seems to me that lap dancers are seen as unseemly whereas the increase in burlesque dancing is seen as a humorous, harmless bit of fun.

And who is involved in this increase in the art form that is burlesque? Well according to the radio yesterday, it could have something to do with posh birds wanting to flaunt their fun bits as part of a middle class jocular sauciness.

Tell me, why is a nubile beauty turning herself around a pole or serving drinks with her nipples hanging out more horrendous than a fit young Sloane sticking a pair of purple hearts on her tits, swinging the twiddly bits around and around?

Now that really is immoral!

So now we turn our attention to the burlesque.

On the radio yesterday, there was a discussion about this very subject, where the contributors discussed whether this form of entertainment, and indeed exercise, was an abuse of women, or an exploitation or an empowerment or an objectification or a titillation. They discussed whether middle class and educated women should know better than to even contemplate taking their clothes off in public whilst others were intrigued as to why or whether women liked to watch other women peeling their clothes off.

On this last statement, this is probably something that makes burlesque allegedly more acceptable than lap dancing, i.e. that the voyeurs are women as much as they are men. But if I am honest, I would be equally comfortable sitting in a lap dancing club than watching a group of women performing their corseted strip. In fact, if I am completely honest, I would actually prefer to be entertained in a lap dancing club. The mere fact that I am not supposed to enjoy such activities makes it even more exciting and makes me even hornier. I’m not strange, I don’t think. People are turned on by the naughtiness of it all.

Perhaps burlesque dancing is on the increase because of this very fact; that people feel it is a bit of naughtiness and that excites them.

So we are back to our relationship with sex once more.

Taboo stature tantalises and raises those cocks and moistens those cunts far more than something conventional, accessible and acceptable.

Let’s just look more about this idea that women like looking at other women undressing.

I do.

I’m not a raving dyke but I have always been fascinated in the female form. In communal changing rooms, I have always looked, ever since I was a young girl in the school PE changing rooms. It has always seemed a pretty instinctive thing to me. There might have been times when I have been embarrassed by my need to look or have averted my eyes so that others didn’t see me looking, but I have always done it.

The thought of watching a woman strip in front of me, especially if I can grab hold of someone’s cock whilst watching, is an extreme turn on. The thought that a woman is comfortable enough with her body to want to strip is adorably empowering and excites me incredibly.

I want to be part of their sexual empowerment by enjoying the view!

So please can someone tell me why the burlesque version is more acceptable than the lap dancing?

It is all about sex. If anyone tries to tell you that burlesque dancing is not about sex, then please rid them of their pathetic excuses. It has to be about sex. It may not be the most sexually exciting thing in the world but I would place money on the honest dancers saying that they get a sexual thrill from removing their clothes and entertaining others by doing so. And guess what? The lap dancers would say the same.

Actually, I find it somewhat offensive that people suggest that learning to do burlesque is a choice whereas serving in a lap bar is exploitative. Why can we not accept that women can make these choices because they are enjoying their sexuality and part of that enjoyment is seeing the pleasure of other people in their sexuality?

It seems that some in this society do think that one (burlesque) is sublime and one (lap dancing) is ridiculous.

What I think is both sublime and ridiculous is, with the former a hint of changing attitudes to sex, and with the latter a disbelief that we still haven’t got to grips with our attitude to sex.

We need a rethink and a very swift one at that. We need to realise that women performing in lap bars are just as entitled to express their sexuality as posh birds learning to flaunt with a boa.

We need to get to grips with our attitude to sex and what we want to impart on the next generation. We need an honesty about sex and an understanding that sexuality and horniness comes in a range of forms. We need to realise that women are sexy and are finally waking up to the fact.

We need to stop contradicting ourselves about sex to the point of making us, as a society, look ridiculous.

Bring on the burlesque, lap up the dancing clubs. Get out there and dispel some myths.

Enjoy – as long as those councils allow you to do so.