Sexual Domination

Bill Dare: Well done – nearly!

As I mentioned in my previous blog, there has been a series of programmes on the radio recently about a traveller by the name of Brian Gulliver who discovers all sorts of strange and wonderful lands. Last week, he visited a land called “Erosia”.

This land was dominated by the Dominatrix; all good, I thought. The traveller was a decent looking bloke who managed to get on in the place because of his looks. He was stopped in the street by female passers-by who only wanted him for one thing. Yes, sex!

He was leered at lasciviously when he walked into a pub, where there were plenty of women ready to buy him drinks and pat him vociferously on the backside. Clearly the sexual politics of this land was all about the dominant female.

As Brian Gulliver is a man of the world, he rather liked his stay here. He was respected for his deep and abiding interest in sex. He got laid whenever he wanted and there were plenty of women who did not worry about their marital or relationship status. They just wanted a fuck.

Now at first, I was thinking this is all good stuff. Here is a programme where a woman’s sexuality was finally being recognised as the powerful force that it is, if only in a society such as this fictitious one. Hopefully, by listening to such fiction, people might open their eyes and see the capacity for female sexuality to flourish and find a rightful place in our own society.

There were some funny sections in this programme. Gulliver was called “boy” all the time; something that irritated him as a 51 year old. He was reticent to tell his daughter about his sexual exploits; still a major taboo despite him travelling to all these exotic places that allegedly opened his mind. He lost his job on television because he was too old and wrinkly, even though his female counterpart was older than him.............. and after a while, I began to get a bit pissed off.

Mr. Dare is a good comedic writer who has a CV full of the very best comedy, and the snippets that I have caught from this programme have largely been extremely amusing. However, with my Zenpuss serious hat on, I was a little perturbed as to where this Erosia place was leading.

Feminists were probably delighted with it. Domination for the Sisterhood and all that but by the end of my time of listening I was beginning to feel a little despondent.
Why? Well, because my idea of sexual empowerment is not total domination, and I do not want to live in a world when one gender’s sexuality is deemed to be more important and more powerful than another gender.

That is the whole point of this bleeding society. It does not allow the sexually liberated woman to share her views and delight in her sexuality, well not unless you happen to be spending time with a very enlightened group of people. It does, however, allow men to wallow in their glorious sexual exploits without the world thinking that they are hussies or tarts.

So one would have thought that I might be happy to see this dominance of women. One would think that I would be happy to see a society where women themselves have ownership and pride in their sexuality.
Well yes, I am, and I was but I do not want it to be an either/or. I do now want my sexual liberty as a woman at the expense of the sexuality of men.
I want equity.

Please do not get me wrong. There are times when I want to be a dominatrix. There are times when I want to demand sex. There are times when I am sitting by my lover when he is watching television or cooking a meal when I suddenly have the urge to get his cock in my mouth, whether he is up for it or not. And I am gradually learning that being a dominatrix for some of the time is deeply horny and a right good turn on.

I like being in bed and demanding that he puts his fingers up my cunt. I like telling him when I need, yes need, him to withdraw his fingers because I am ready for his cock. I like grabbing him and pulling him on top of me because I know that I am about to spunk and I rather think he would like to be directly above me to receive the hot gushes that are about to spring from my body.

But none of this would give me any pleasure whatsoever if he wasn’t sexually excited and equally able to show his desire for me in the same way.

And before all those feminists jump up and down, his desire for me is never physically or emotionally abusive. If he wants me, he tells me in no uncertain terms but force is not necessary. Why? Because I fucking love fucking him and I cannot even imagine a time when I have not wanted to fuck him if her wants to fuck me; equity you see. It can actually work.

My idea of sexual domination is not about one person or one gender having dominance over another. My idea of sexual domination is that this world gets used to being sexual. My idea of sexual domination is that sex finds its rightful place in the world – as a dominant force of good, dismantling the dark side of jealousy and possessiveness, learning to love the very essence and the instinctive brilliance of being sexual beings.

It is not going to be easy. There are generations and centuries and even millennia that have indoctrinated and persuaded us to think and feel in a certain way. I still suffer from my bouts of envy or angst but I know they are wrong. I still over concern myself about expressing my sexuality even though I have been invited to do so.
Sexual domination is about celebrating and delighting in one another’s sexuality. Sexual domination is about managing to see the difference between sex in its rawest natural state and making love with a cared-for and loved companion.

Being sexual with another person does not mean that you cannot also have a deeply committed sexual relationship with another. This is what I mean about sexual domination; recognition of sex for its multiplicities, its strength, its purpose before you get anywhere near the relationships aspect of sexuality.

Personally, I like the relationship side, but in some way, in order to get real sexual dominance in society we might have to forego the relationships stuff until we have finally secured sexuality into its rightful place in our world.

The other day, I had the most immense and wonderful sex. I was covered in both my spunk and my lover’s sperm. I polished it into my body because I love being smothered in those juices.
But then I had to go to a meeting. Should I clean myself off, shower myself down (and not with a golden one) or should I just pop my clothes on and dash out smelling of sex?

As time was short, I settled for the latter; dirty slut that I am.

But this choice was not because I was dirty. I am actually quite a clean person but in my way, I wanted to do my bit for sexual domination.
How are we ever to get sexual domination, sex in its rightful place in the world, if we continually avert our eyes and ears and all of our senses away from the world of sex? I actually wanted someone to smell sex on me because I wanted to show that I was not ashamed in any way of being a sexual person.
How else are we going to get the recognition for sex that it deserves?

The other day, I drove off in my car, having removed a bag of clothes from the boot. When I returned from the shop I discovered that I had dropped a pair of blue, lacy pants on the drive. My initial feeling was calm and rationality but then I worried that someone else might be concerned and embarrassed about seeing a pair of women’s knickers on the pavement. And then I remembered exactly what I had been doing immediately before taking these panties off and I realised that they might indeed be coated in some sort of sexual juices.

So what, I thought. So what if people see that this woman is a sexual being.

Shying away from our sexuality is never going to bring us sexual domination.

It is time once more to wake up, embrace our sexuality and be open and honest that sometimes and in some cases often, we have very sexual thoughts and we want to have sex.

Sexual domination is enabling people of any sexual orientation or any gender in being able to express themselves sexually.
As a woman who loves sex, I don’t want to be in this fictitious place of Erosia because I want the man that I choose to fuck to have as much sexual freedom as me.

That is sexual domination.