The SlutWalk revisited

More on the SlutWalk

People really have got their knickers in a pickle over this one haven’t they? It is interesting though that the Guardian/Observer group are finding it a challenge and a difficult one to leave alone.

To this end, it seems they have got a range of women to talk about it and the Talking Heads times five is in the newspaper today.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/may/15/slutwalk-debate-sexual-discrimination

The five women discuss the purpose of the SlutWalk, the reasons behind it, feminism, misogyny, the word “slut” and the reclamation of it, prostitution, rape, sexualisation, sexual clothing etcetera, etcetera.

What none of them mention in the entire article is the phrase “sexual empowerment” or “sexual liberation” or “sexual enlightenment”.

I find that rather sad.

And what I also find sad is this terrible emphasis on the need for conformity of thought. It is as though there is an expectation that all people who are on this march should comply to some homogenised purpose. What is wrong with some women marching because they want the word “slut” to be rid of its negative undertones and other women marching because they want to make it clear that they can dress how they like, and other women marching because they want to get this message of “don’t rape” rather than “don’t get raped” firmly established in peoples’ minds?

What is wrong with people marching because they are wanting to celebrate their sexuality? What is wrong with men marching alongside these women to say that every woman has the right to wear what they want free of the prospect of uninvited sexual advances?

What is wrong with some women marching because of all of these reasons but ultimately marching because they want to part of a movement that finally embraces and rejoices in women’s sexuality?

I think I would have liked to have been on this panel of women so that I could put this point across to them; that it doesn’t matter if there are a multiplicity of reasons for marching. The overarching issue is about how women should be reclaiming their right to be sexual beings first and foremost, and with that clearly comes the notion that they are empowered and in charge of their sexuality, which clearly means that neither man nor woman should abuse their right to be sexual and choose who they are sexual with.

The march can be about many things. It can be about all of the issues mentioned above but ultimately it should be about a woman’s right to be sexual and not to be abused in being sexual.

There were some interesting comments in the article. Here are a few comments that caught my eye.

The idea that, if you look like what society thinks is a slut, you're somehow responsible, is repugnant. 

Of course it is repugnant but so too is this notion of what society thinks is a slut! Surely we should be looking at why people think it is appropriate to call somebody a slut, to think that someone is being sluttish rather than considering that women have the right to freely acknowledge themselves as sexual beings. I find it far more repugnant that women cannot be sexual beings, and that if they somehow manage to break free of the mould they are, by default, a slut.

But I truly believe that women should wear whatever they like, and celebrate femininity, sexuality, power dressing, any which way it comes – go for it.

Finally, someone mentions the “S” word. Of course women should wear whatever they like. They should wear, for instance, practical shoes for walking but if they want to highlight their sexuality they might to choose to walk around in Fuck Me shoes instead. That is their prerogative. And just because they are wearing Fuck Me shoes, it shouldn’t mean that they are openly inviting sexual advances. And the reverse of that is true too. Just because someone is wearing Don’t Fuck Me Shoes, doesn’t mean that they dont’ want a fuck. They just want to be able to walk safely and comfortably to the place where they might just want a fuck more than anything!

This morning I was reading a study saying 1,000 women a day were raped during 12 months in 2007 in the Congo. That had nothing to do with what they wore.

I assume that people did not think these poor women were sluts. So there really are two issues here. There is one issue about rape in general and there is another about sexual advances because of what one wears. They are two different things and yet they share the key issue of inappropriate sex. Let us remember that inappropriate sexual behaviour is abhorrent in any form. The trigger to such behaviour is not the issue. The real issue is why people feel that they can/need/want to behave inappropriately in the first place. Methinks it is back to quality education, development of self-worth and decent relationship education.

When I dressed as a teenage slut I felt sexy, I felt grown-up, cool, I had hot pants, platforms – I loved it. I was innocent, though, I wasn't prepared for the trigger that would happen in the men.

The woman has said it herself. “She loved it”. She loved feeling sexual. It made her feel grown-up. She liked the feeling of being sexual. Isn’t this what we want for women? Isn’t it every woman’s right to feel, to be sexual? But we also want women to feel sexual without it triggering anything unless it is wanted. I have just been talking to my lover who mentioned that he had been to the pub last night and seen some gorgeous, attractive women. Was he wrong to have looked? Were the women that he was “glancing appreciately” at wrong for dressing in a way that caught his eye? No, in both cases. Their dress and their looks “triggered” something in my lover. It aroused him but it did not mean that he ogled them or pounced on them. He is responsible for his behaviour in relation to such “triggers” and as a sensible and sexual man, he responded perfectly appropriately, and I think that the women who were being appreciatively looked at would be pleased that they looked good for themselves and possibly for my lover too.

It's very sad that a man gets up, goes out the door the way he rolled out of bed, and a girl spends ages trowelling on the makeup and putting on the heels.

Back to Fuck Me shoes!
There is another issue here. Why do people assume that people are more fuckable if they slap a load of make-up on their face, often disguising and hiding their natural beauty, and indeed their natural sexuality? However, if women want to plaster their faces and wear high heels that is up to them. If they want to show a bit of cleavage or the shapeliness of their divine bodies, then why should they not do so? And if I am honest, I wouldn’t necessarily be attracted to a man who rolled out of bed and thought so little of themselves that they just wandered out with a thought of what he looks like. Though I do find men who roll out of bed and sit in their dressing gown with their cock patently obvious very attractive indeed!

The humorous side of SlutWalk makes the whole thing feel good, a celebration. They're not thinking about the men, they're thinking about the camaraderie of the women and the empowerment of their femininity.

Yes, yes, yes to this but let us replace that word “femininity” with “sexuality” and I would be even happier. Femininity implies something on the lines of the fragrant Mrs. Mary Archer when her prat of a husband was in court. Sexuality is another issue altogether. We want women to feel good about themselves. We want women to think about themselves in reference to their sexuality. We want women to think about sexual empowerment and we want women to feel good about their sexuality for themselves. As Zenpuss has said on many occasions, a woman being sexually empowered has a knock on effect on men anyway. I am pretty confident that a women who is sexually empowered, who knows what she wants sexually, is not afraid to show her sexually makes for a highly desirable lover.

If there's one thing great about calling it SlutWalk it's that it's given us the chance to sit around and talk about this as an issue. 

And there is never enough time given to talking about female sexuality. And I am not sure that this particular article has even scratched the surface. Guardian and Observer Editors, Zenpuss is available!

It's about challenging rape culture, the idea that you in some way could be responsible for your own rape, and I think that is a feminist belief for sure.

For some people the SlutWalk is about challenging rape culture and about the responsibility involved. Nobody should be responsible for rape other than the rapist. Of course, there are times when women deliberately provoke but the ultimate responsibility for the act of rape is with the perpetrator. But what is this about a “feminist belief”? Is there such a thing as one mode of feminist belief? Yes, it is a belief that one should not be responsible for the actions of others in relation to rape, but I am not sure that is a “feminist” belief. Surely this is a belief held by many, including the law of the land (although in some court cases this does not come across and the ‘blame’ is apportioned to women). In some ways rape should not be a feminist issue. It is about control, aggression, inappropriate behaviour but challenging sexuality and empowering women in their sexuality definitely should be a feminist “belief” or cause.

I'm not sure I'm qualified to say whether or not it helps the feminist cause, because I'm not sure what the feminist cause is. I don't automatically associate the feminist cause with the best way forward for women. 

This comes from a Conservative woman. And I hate to agree with her but I do. What precisely is the feminist cause? Because if it is about condemning all men, then I want no part of it. I like men! If the feminist cause is about being constantly reactive to sorry situations then I don’t really want to be part of such a narrow focus. I want feminism to be embracing all women as women, and a huge part of being a woman is about being a sexual being. Feminism should also be about rights, about equality, about confirmation of being a woman in all ways and not just sexuality but it should be a positive movement not an aggressive response to misogyny as its only purpose.

And as far as sexuality goes, feminism should be totally about empowerment, sexual empowerment, putting the proactive back into the hands of women. Ignoring this issue will ensure women’s subservience for time immemorial. If women win back the right to be sexual, if women embrace sexuality, if women realise the enjoyment of their sexuality, then many other feminist issues might fall into place by default. Ask people like Michelle Thorn how much of a knock on effect has her sexual empowerment achieved as far as equality, respect, etcetera.

Clothes are self-expression, but you have to be aware it can trigger things in other people. That is not something you can control. You can only control yourself. So it's really important to be aware.

For goodness sake! This is an important issue. Of course you can only control yourself. You are responsible for yourself but maybe taking a walk such as the SlutWalk might make other people realise that they are responsible for themselves, and if this walk enables such enlightenment then I am definitely booking my place on it.

Controlling oneself be it in regard to sexuality or temper or just general day to day living should be something to which we all aspire. No, infact, making the control implicit, instinctive, is what we should aspire to.

And ZPs response to the questions asked.

In light of evidence that many men and women, including police officers in the UK, believe that women share the blame if they are raped, should we be encouraging young women to dress less provocatively?

There is no ‘encouragement’ required here. We are not encouraging women to dress “provocatively” in relation to the SlutWalk. IF people attend the walk dressed as others deem to call provocative, that is their prerogative, as it is in society in general. People should be free to dress how they like without labels being attached to them because of what they wear and how they wear it. However, having said that, we should not be encouraging minors to be sexualising their dress that is inappropriate for their age and maturity. That is a different issue altogether.

What we should be doing, from a very early age with our young people, is empowering them to be themselves, to recognise and value the uniqueness of themselves and others and to ensure that they know that they should not enforce their views, their values or themselves on other people where it is patently obvious they are not desired.

What about the word itself? Is the word slut offensive? Outmoded? Or should women reclaim it, celebrate it?

The word “slut” is not offensive. Well, of course, that is not true. If someone calls me a slut because of the clothes that I am wearing, I would find that offensive. However, it does depend on the circumstances. If  someone called me a slut whilst I was lying in bed with my legs apart and masturbating to orgasm, then I would quite happily be called a slut because I would know it meant the person saying it would be reminding me of how delightfully embracing I was of my own sexuality.

“Slut” means dirty. Dirty, as far as sexuality goes, has implied unnecessarily naughty, whereas now I look at parts of my sexuality that others would think is naughty whereas I think it is empowering.

I do think we should reclaim this word but it should not stop with the word “slut”. I am actually far more interested in re-appropriating words like “cunt”. I want to celebrate my cunt by actually mentioning the word without people falling about in a horror struck abhorrence.

Cunt, cunt, cunt. My beautiful wet cunt. My delightfully sexual cunt that is the most beautiful part of my body, that is an entrance to my being. My wonderful, stimulated, powerful cunt; creative, generous, excitable, loving. I love my cunt. Why can’t I say so?

So personally I would quite like to see a “CuntWalk”. I wonder how that one would ‘pan’ out!

From the burka to the miniskirt, what women wear is constantly under scrutiny. I wonder if you feel you are making a statement with what you wear?

I make no statement with what I wear other than to say I am a woman and I celebrate it, and I am allowed to celebrate it however I feel fit. If I want to be practical I shall do so. If I want to wander into town without wearing any panties, I should do so if it suits me. If I want to wear a bra I can. If I want to leave it off, I can do so also. If I want to put suspenders on with the purpose of arousing others, then that it my choice. If I want to wear a burka and cover it all up, I am still the sexual me underneath it all.

I wear clothes for me. If wearing clothes also means I wear certain things for others then that is my choice.

So are the SlutWalk marches pro-feminist?

Labels – Velcro. Do we actually need a word such as “pro-feminist”? Do we need to define and confine these marches to unnecessary terminology?

The Slutwalk marches are about many things. As I said right at the start, I would prefer to see these marches as a means of ensuring women can embrace their sexuality and celebrate the delightfulness of the female form. I want people to feel sexually empowered.

If this is pro-feminism then yes, all well and good.

If these marches empower women then they are pro-feminism.

But there is also another issue. Feminism has to move onto fourth, fifth and sixth wave with every generation, with every turn of event. Feminism should not be stagnant just as our minds and our own views should not rigidly lock in place. Movement, change is desired. The feminists of the sixties did not have the technology of the 21^st century, so how can their views be appropriate now?

We have to move and adapt with times that does not mean we are compromising.

Reclaiming sexuality, reclaiming sexual words, reclaiming the rights of women – it is all pro-feminism but I firmly believe that one of the most advancing thing we can do for the feminist cause is to reclaim sexuality and our right to be sexual beings. If the SlutWalks celebrate this and manage to do this, then I will happily sign up to that sort of feminist movement.