Well I suppose we have to thank a few Craig’s as well as Sheila’s for this one because I doubt that a woman would have got this on board without a helping hand from a man.
According to the above extract, it appears that Qantas are leading the way in in-flight entertainment with a documentary about the Female Orgasm. This short yet relatively detailed French film (no stereotypes here, Sheila) is apparently available for all those crossing the waters on the big, white bird, with the kangaroo logo, who fancy having a little stimulation en route. No wonder Qantas is so expensive. I do wonder whether they have enough toilets on board for I am sure that if I had just happened upon this mid-flight, I might just need to relieve myself.
The film is fifty minutes long and gathers together a group of French women to talk about all things sexual.
It ranges in subject from fantasies, female orgasms, ejaculation, the difference between a clitoral and vaginal orgasm and so forth. There are common beliefs and also surprises at the woman who insists that she has an orgasm every time she makes love.
“Congratulations!” the others say to her in shock and a certain amount of disbelief. Is this really possible?
The film opens with a scene that could have come straight from “When Harry Met Sally” but with a difference. Cecile is giving herself a vaginal orgasm. She is not stimulating herself with a dildo or her fingers. There are no cocks to be found. It is just her brain working in harmony with her body, ensuring the thickening of the vaginal wall that stimulates her G-Spot to orgasm. Pretty impressive.
The narrator asks the question, “Is this magic?”
The answer: not really, it is just that Cecile knows her own body so well that she is capable of doing this.
It is so sad that in this day, we still have to have a film that explains the actualities of the clitoris. If you approach the average person in the street, they will tell you that the clitoris is the small spot at the top of the labia that if caressed will give an amazing sensation. Many women STILL think that this is the only way that they will orgasm. What is worse, according to the film, is that less than 50% of women asked say that they have EVER masturbated, let alone do it regularly.
Of course, from this film, you will learn, if you did not know already, that the clitoris is not just a spot but it is a whole organ that stretches down either side of the vaginal wall; shaped rather like a chicken’s wishbone (you’ll never make a wish with one of these again without thinking of a woman’s body – lovely!)
It then goes on to explain how to achieve an orgasm, i.e. what actually happens to the body during orgasm; labia swelling, vagina lubricating, uterus rising, vagina expanding, labia changing colour, earthquake! Once more it reiterates that if you do not know what your body is capable of, then how can you really explain to a sexual partner what you really want.
So what, according to these women, does an orgasm feel like?
Liberated, a sense of release, intense pleasure, peak of pleasure – were some of the things that they said, and some said that it only lasts a few seconds. Poor girls.
“It feels like your whole body is alive” said one – everything boiling
"You can feel your partner from the tip of your toes to all the extremities"
How wonderful! I really like this quote because that is exactly how it feels. When you are making love with someone that you really care about, this is exactly what an orgasm feels like. Not only can you feel your partner but you also feel yourself in this way; a complete connection and a total oneness. That is what I am sure she was trying to say.
Throughout this film there are clippings of silent movies with women touching themselves and masturbating with one another. Occasionally, a man appears as well but of course you don’t see any erect penises – just one of my gripes about the movie.
The women move on to describe their fantasies and it is often common for a woman to adopt dominatrix tendencies in these. I wonder how many men have considered how frequent this is a desire of their female partner. I wonder how many women actually admit to this desire to overpower their men with sexuality.
Many spoke of a desire to have sex in unconventional places with unconventional people – as one person put it there is a ‘reek of heresy’ in sexual fantasies and there is nothing wrong with that, despite many women feeling abnormal in thinking in this way.
The film continues to discuss whether women are mostly clitoral cummers or vaginal, stating that in reality women have the ability to be both, although many of the participants in the film suggested that their most frequent and possibly best orgasms were through clitoral stimulation. Once more, it is pretty abhorrent to think that we need it explained that the vagina and the clitoris are linked and therefore, according to this, you need clitoral stimulation in order to reach a vaginal orgasm. Personally I’m not convinced on that one, unless the cock is rubbing the inside part of the clitoris every time it moves towards the G-Spot because I have certainly had plenty of vaginal orgasms without the clit being stimulated.
It then went on to discuss the myth of multiple orgasms. They suggested that the only way to get prolific and continuous orgasms was to abandon yourself completely to the desire for sex and possibly the desire for the person that you are having sex with. One participant described it as being “like a wave” with no sudden fall just an ongoing brilliance throughout their body. Multiple orgasms are “rare but they do exist”.
At this point, I am beginning to think there is something freakish about me. I have clitoral orgasms and have managed to give myself these for as long as I can remember. I have vaginal orgasms without clitoral stimulation and I have multiple orgasms.
Am I just fortunate or a unique woman? Not, I think.
Am I just fortunate or a unique woman? Not, I think.
The programme continues with the ubiquitous discussion about whether the G-Spot exists. Why do we still need such a conversation? It is as though the whole world is calling us G-Spotters frauds or liars. It is wholly unsatisfactory for people to suggest by the mere holding of such conversations that the G-Spot does not exist.
Thankfully, it continues to say what it is, where it is and also suggest other erogenous zones within the vagina, and yes, it appears that I have managed to get those working too.
Thankfully, it continues to say what it is, where it is and also suggest other erogenous zones within the vagina, and yes, it appears that I have managed to get those working too.
At this point, there is a clip of a group of women on a sexual retreat in the South of France where they are discovering their bodies. Each are encouraged to get a speculum and a mirror to try and locate their own G-Spots, something of which I totally approve.
More discussion takes place about anal orgasms, as well as other erogenous zones in the body and sexual positions. It appears that most women orgasm better when they are on top or having it thrust inside them doggy style.
Lucky me again! I seem to be able to cum flat on my back as much as other positions.
And then there is the discussion about the big one: female ejaculation, the real taboo of female sexuality.
One woman was brave enough (brave!!!) to admit that she is a squirter “but it doesn’t happen that often” she said. When it first happened to her she thought there was something wrong with her, that she was going too far and ought to hold back. How sad! That is exactly what I felt and when I was constantly soaking the sheets I was a little embarrassed despite my lover telling me that it was perfectly natural and nothing to worry about but the doctor who then came onto the screen gave me a little cause for concern.
He stated that if sheets have to be changed then there is probably a neurological predisposition whereby the orgasm has such an impact on the woman’s brain that it affects the area of continence.
Gee, I have a neuro-disposition!
He continues to say that the fluid released is not urine but is clear, but is like a watered down urine with secretions from the prostatic gland which has chemical substances that are not found in urine.
He continues to say that the fluid released is not urine but is clear, but is like a watered down urine with secretions from the prostatic gland which has chemical substances that are not found in urine.
So on one hand he is saying it is not urine and on the other he is taking it away by saying it is actually a watered down version of urine. Not that it matters. If it comes with a cum, then it really doesn’t matter what it is, in my opinion.
But the stuff about the brain intrigues me. Back to Wilhelm Reich, who incidentally has been dead for over fifty years and his work has still not been followed up in detail. The brain is a vital component to sexual pleasure but this man seems to suggest that it is an outcome of physical activity rather than an integral part of sexuality. Is it the orgasm that causes the woman’s brain to dysfunction to the extent that she becomes incontinent? Or is it the brain that works with the rest of the body to cause the alleged incontinence? And should we really be using words such as “continence” in this way? This man has already stated that there are chemical substances in female ejaculation that are not found in urine so why use this word which gives a surreptitious undercurrent of disapproval at the female ejaculate?
He makes up for it with his next statement.
“If the physiological hypothesis holds, we could say that the squirting female is super orgasmic”.
“If the physiological hypothesis holds, we could say that the squirting female is super orgasmic”.
Great, I’m happy with that. I am now a clitoral, vaginal, multiple, super cummer, and according to this film, I am still in a minority because female squirter’s are few and far between and quite “particular”!
He continues to say that the female orgasm is no miracle. It is just a simple fact; harmony with yourself, uniting the mind, the psyche, the “so-called” soul and the body. This provides orgasm, he says “the trinity of harmony”.
Well duh! But at least it is good to hear other people expressing something that seems quite obvious, nay instinctive to me.
Then another specialist comes along and says this about desire and emotions.
“As long as you're afraid of your emotions and believe in emotionless sexuality, you're afraid of your feelings. So you should stop saying emotionless sex. It's a misconception and it's biologically incorrect”
What precisely does this mean? I think it needs a blog all of its own to untangle this one!
And so the film continues with remedies for different things, such as a dose of hydraulic acid (whoops, I mean hydrochloric acid but the thought of a hydraulic up your fanny has got me in giggles) into the G-Spot to make it larger, or more retreats that involve lifting weights to encourage women to think about what their bodies are capable of.
It talks of the significance of giving pleasure as much as receiving it; something again that is so important for my own sexuality. It talks of the need to release, to give oneself completely, although one woman stated that she could not orgasm and love simultaneously because it was giving too much of oneself. Interesting.
The film finished with an interview with a beautiful 68 year old woman who was very wary of being filmed and insisted that in order to participate she would have to hide in a field to do so.
She talked of her years being married and never having an orgasm.
Could you live without orgasms? The participants decided that they couldn’t, though one, Cecile, I think said that she could not live without sexual pleasure but orgasms was something quite different.
I agree.
But the woman at the end of the film had me in tears. After years of no orgasm, she divorced her husband but not for that reason, I don’t think. (Just as an aside, I wonder whether a court would allow a woman to divorce on the grounds of never having an orgasm with her marital partner).
At the age of 46, she met a man, and she had an orgasm. The relationship didn’t last but her eyes and everything else had been opened to the potential of her own body and mind and soul.
She said that it was like opening up inside. “It’s beautiful” she said, “Women who haven’t experienced it are poorer for it”.
He left her, with the idea that she never had an orgasm like it again.
He left her, with the idea that she never had an orgasm like it again.
“Beautiful story........... life goes on” she said masking the hidden tears that wanted to erupt from her eyes.
I cried them for her.
........................................
So there we have it.
Well done Qantas, and well done the film makers. It was a frank and open discussion about female sexuality. It was factually correct and scientifically relevant but did it go far enough?
I hope so. I hope that people can see that this is merely a taster. I would suggest that there is more that should take place and each of the subjects discussed probably need at least fifty minutes each.
I would love to spend time talking to women about their bodies, about their sexuality and about what they feel is important to convey to others. The six women who were discussing female ejaculations were shocked when someone admitted that they did more than dribble but this is not enough. Every woman is capable of ejaculating if we that do could only be given a platform to say that it is normal and that women should actually expect it to happen.
The woman who said that she had an orgasm every time she had sex was disbelieved. According to the film, only one in ten have an orgasm every time they make love. Such a statistic is abominable.
As for me, well, it is beautifully affirmative because I do still need to be convinced that I am not a freak and that I am not a raving nymphomaniac, though I am perfectly contented to be viewed as such. It is just that I shouldn’t be seen as a nymphomaniac. I should be seen as someone with a perfectly normal and healthy libido that happens to want a lot of sex, and that this is perfectly normal.
Suppression and denial are abnormal in any situation and when it comes to sex, it is downright stupid because I am not sure that any of us can function properly without realising once and for all the potential that us women have within us.
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