I really don't like stereotypes. They are crass and never tell the whole story. There are always exceptions to the standard, and they can be cruel and hurtful.
Having said that, they also have their uses. As a starting point, a generalisation can be a useful tool. So I apologetically am going to use stereotypes in this short piece of writing.
Obviously it is sex related, as that appears to be my theme!
I want to explore attitudes really, and particularly attitudes towards sex from both sides of the Channel.
There is an assumption that, in general, British folk are not that interested in sex. I think this attitude was pretty much borne out in the recent Observer survey, where it certainly seemed that I had more monthly sex and more sexual partners than the average. The chosen questions told a story in themselves. No questions about orgasms and certainly none about female ejaculation. No questions about pornography and only one timid little query about whether anyone has used sex toys with or without a partner. There were no questions about what made people aroused, no questions about group sex, only one question about bisexuality and nothing at all about different 'styles' of having sex.
I like to think that a similar sexual survey in France would be slightly more explicit. Because really, I don't just want to know whether people are 'at it' and how frequently. I want to know people's actual feelings and attitude to sex. Do they know about female orgasms? How long do they like foreplay? What do they do during foreplay? How often can they/do they cum during a 'session' for want of a better expression? Have they ever considered having sex with someone of their gender? What do they have fantasies about?
Surely these are far more inciteful questions to ascertain what we really think about sex. And of course, there are many more. Maybe I ought to think about developing my own survey on the subject.
The French, on the other hand, are given the stereotype of being very interested in sex. We are told that they are open and frank about their sexuality and that sex is an integral part of their lives. They wouldn't have questions on how frequently you have sex in a month, but how frequently you have it in a week.
But is this a myth too?
In reality, there are some extremely sexual Brits and I am sure there are equally some French people who have a total disinterest in fucking. It is not as simple as putting some gross stereoptype onto millions of people, assuming that they are either frigid or frenetic according to the country of their birth.
Yet you cannot get away from certain facts and there certainly seems to be a more sexualised society in France, even down to the way that they 'allow' photographs and pictures of semi-naked women in the streets, on billboards and shop fronts in a way that we would never consider.
Yesterday, I was walking through the streets of Paris and I came across three Lingerie shops that were screaming out sexuality in the way they had dressed the window. I was dying to go in and try on the clothes, as I knew that they would make me feel extremely horny. All I could do, due to certain constraints, was stare into the window and imagine being stripped of these delightful lacy garments, after I had let my sexy juices dribble freely over the delicate black thongs laced with creamy edgings.
There was nothing sordid about these shops but there was certainly an openness about the purpose of setting out the garments in this manner. Essentially, they were selling these products because they were sexy. That was their purpose. They were inviting you to think and feel sexy. They were asking you to imagine having sex in these clothes. You don't really get that with an eyeful of M&S!
Another example is in the way that the French are overt about nudity. There I was standing in a chain hotel of renowned status. Four Star hotels tend to be somewhat of a type, with flock wallpaper and casual, countryside paintings, certainly in this country. But there I was looking at the entrance to the hotel, and straight away, I was 'confronted' with not one but five images of women's boobs. Would this even be allowed in this country?
Over the doorway to the hotel was a huge fifteen foot brass model of a woman, and not a skinny one, lying down with her head on one hand displaying her sexuality for all to see. Her breasts were magnificant (and her tummy was not shrunken). Her pubes were carefully moulded, covering the obvious lines of her pussy. And she lay there quite happily being appreciated by people who walked in and out of the hotel underneath her.
As you stood in the doorway to the hotel, you could see a glorious picture of a gilded mermaid that dominated the stairwell. On closer inspection it was a collage of buttons and knobs and pieces of string, all done in the style of Gustav Klimt - a really beautiful piece of work.
To the left, there was a lounge area containing three nude pictures - full frontal, explicit and beautiful. There was even a nude, doll-like figure dangling from the ceiling, floating around with the clouds in her birthday suit. Really quite wonderful.
If this was a British hotel, I am sure you would get some Mary Whitehouse type of character coming along and suggesting that it was improper and inappropriate to have such explicit images on display in such a public place. But in France, it seemed perfectly natural and right to see this overt sexualisation.
And yet, there is still something missing from both French and British society. Where are the cocks? As a feminist, I still struggle slightly with my enjoyment of both male and female bodies. I do worry about exploitation and I know that there is a strong possiblity that some of the people that I am looking at do not want to be doing what they do. Also as a feminist, I am rather annoyed that it is perfectly acceptable these days to have images of aroused women but not men. I know there are many feminists who would want to ban pornography once and for all. What I want is equity. If women fondling their breasts are allowed both in art and porn, then why can you not have a man holding his erect cock, clearly ready to enjoy either a partner or a good old wank?
If a man is allowed to 'get off' by looking at images as he passes through the doors of a hotel, then why am I as a sexual woman, not allowed the same - assuming of course that I do not get off on tits. I am sure you know what I mean.
The point is that even in France there appears to be a lack of equity around sexuality. Men can enjoy and women display.
Some may argue that the male form is not as beautiful as that of a woman, and I have discussed this before. But I DO want to see cocks of different shapes and sizes, and it is up to me whether this turns me on or not.
Getting back to the theme - are we really very different, us and the french? Well, I think there is certainly something more sexual in the French.
You rather get the impression that these ladies dress to BE sexual. They look fantastic. Some of them may not have the most beautiful faces but they really know how to dress to reflect and emphasise the quality parts of their bodies. And there is a sexual confidence about them that is sadly missing from most British women, including myself.
I think there are lessons to be learned here. Maybe we Brits should be thinking about dressing more sexually without looking tarty - for that is a mistake that some make. I often look at the girls when they are off out, and whilst they look good, they also look available in a slightly too obvious way - not sexy just available. I am not sure that I am really explaining the difference very well, but in essence there is a huge difference between dressing to be sexy and dressing to get laid!
Anyway, the women are chic. Goodness knows how they remain so thin and petite, when they seem to scoff as much as food as their English counterparts. I looked around at some very chic looking, slender French women of similar age to me whilst away. They were piling their plates crammed full of cheese, croissants, bread, doughnuts and gobbling it all up, whilst I was sticking to fruit and yoghurt (well for the first day anyway - the multitude of pain au chocolats got to me in the end!). They just don't seem to get fat, whereas all I have to do is look at the shop window at the Boulangerie to pile on the pounds, despite walking and cycling further than normal.
There are certainly more places in France where topless bathing is the norm. Here, it is pushed to a relatively small amount of beaches dispersed across the country. Again, another expression of France's comfort with the human form. Of course, this may not be related to sexuality. It is merely a comfort with bodies rather than a desire to be sexual. But this in itself is an issue. Surely, if you are more comfortable with your own form, then you are more aware of your ability to arouse another and are more at ease with your sexuality? Who knows? Just a few thoughts.
Anyway, back to my stereotype. I want to be French, or do I just want to be sexy? I want to be, and am comfortable with nudity. I am getting more comfortable with my own nakedness and am beginning to accept that my body is attractive and can be arousing for others. But it is more than this. I want to ooze sexuality without trying. I just want to be a sexy being, and I am pretty sure that my fellow women across the water do far better at this than my counterparts over here.
Stereotypes are revolting. They do not tell the whole story and I am pretty determined to be an exception to the rule, if the rule remains that Brits are not sexually developed.
PS........................................ as I have discussed before, I have a real desire to have energetic, all consuming sex in the open air, in an open environment, totally liberated and free from concern - just as nature intended. Cycling around, I found many places where I would like to return with a beautifully erect cock in hand, leading into dunes and forests and fucking like bunnies. Mmmmm!
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