The Perfect Pussy

The perfect vagina.

It is interesting for a title for a television programme in the fact that they use the word vagina. I have spoken before about the range of names for the vagina – little flower, muff, bush, fanny, etc but I must admit I heard some new ones today and they were all fairly frightful. How would Channel 4 bosses have coped if a woman had stood up at the meeting and said that they preferred the programme to be called “The Perfect Pussy”? It says what the programme is about, unless anyone is switching on to look at a collection of kittens. It is beautifully alliterative, one of my personal favourites in writing techniques and it is reclaiming a word that is perfectly acceptable if only people could be at ease with the word.

Regarding the word ‘pussy’, I do blame the feminists to a certain extent. They were unhappy about any derogatory word associated with female genitalia but coming up with no viable alternative seems to have been their downfall.

Anyway, the programme looked at the fact that there are thousands of women out there who are unhappy with their ‘women bits’. Such is the concern, that some of them have decided to clip their bits of their own volition, tidying up their labia to make it all look small, beautifully tucked in and ready for an awaiting cock without the owner of the cock having to trawl through flesh to get to where he wants to. This absolutely fascinates me.

Firstly, when there are so many women who can’t even look at their own fannies, how do they know that theirs is, in their terms, imperfect? Is this a knock on effect of porn being readily available on the net so that we can all have a good look at other peoples’ fannies? Are there more people accessing this porn than we once thought? Do women have to admit that they are looking at pussy sites and they are actually enjoying what they are seeing? A few questions just for a kick off to contemplate.

I genuinely believe, and it was clearly demonstrated on this programme, that women cannot look at their fannies. They don’t like them. Men have the opportunity to wake up every morning and have their genitalia in their face (or hands) so to speak. Women do not have that luxury. It is carefully tucked away, out of sight, and you have to go out of your way to sneak a view of it. I have deliberately used the word ‘sneak’ because that is how some people feel. You are sneaking around to find a mirror and have a look at what is down there. And women are horrified at what they see. They do not readily embrace the variation of colours, the intricate folds of skin that layer together, the internal bulges of the vagina in all its glory, the fluid that is coming out of them as they gently touch and reach inside themselves. Yet these are all the very things that make them the sexual beings that they are.

I am thinking of when I last had sex, which thankfully, was only yesterday. I delight at the idea of my sexual partner looking down and seeing an array of pinks, crimsons, purples, whites in all their variant strands. How utterly wonderful that in a relatively small part of the body, there can be such variety. Where would I be without the sensations of all those layers of skin. It is wonderful to feel your labia being gently pressed to one side so that the person you are having sex with can ease their tongue into an awaiting pussy. The moving of the labia is part of the sexual act, and there is the other serious issue of infection. Surely the labs are there as another protection to that very precious part of you? The bulging parts of my inner body are wonderful, I think. Admittedly, when I first felt around in there, I was a little shocked at the difference in texture and the size of some sections, but they are part of me and I love feeling them grow as I become more excited at the prospect of an awaiting cock. And then there are the juices. I am sure that some people are petrified that they are moist as they touch themselves. They have a belief that they should only be aroused by other peoples’ touch. I know this sounds ridiculous but I am sure it is true. People are still under the deluded impression that masturbation is unacceptable and that when they do sneak a little go at themselves it is actually not the ‘right’ thing to do for a good girl.

I therefore suggest that we should be far more upfront about getting women to be familiar with their fannies. You should know how it is formed and you should glorify in the fact that your fanny is unique. It is your own fingerprint on the world of sexuality and for goodness sake be happy with it.

My second point is the comparison issue. I want to have the best and most satisfying pussy for my sexual partners. I want them to look at my pussy and want to dive inside it immediately. I want them to feel incredibly special that I am ‘allowing’ (for want of a better word) them into my private chambers and I want them to feel with their fingers, their tongue, their cock, the movement within me as I respond to their touch. I suppose there is a certain competitive nature in relation to wanting to be the best. The top 5% will do, as long as I am near the top! Come to think of it, what does the top 5% mean? The top 5% of cunts in the world or the top 5% of cunts visited? I jest!

But seriously, why on earth are young women comparing the layout of their pussies and then mistakenly thinking that theirs is not a good one? Who has given them the idea that there is a perfect pussy? Are there perfect tits? I know people who really adore big, fulsome, rounded and beautifully shaped tits. I know people who prefer pert boobs that they can comfortably house in their hands. I know there are women who choose to have implants or reductions and have the same concerns about their boobs as they might about protruding labia. The point is that everyone is different and that what one person is delighted with, another person may be less than happy with. But I do find it very difficult to imagine an excited man jumping into bed with a woman that he is attracted to, with a cock rigid and ready, turning away from a fanny that isn’t exactly to his liking. If he is stupid enough to do such a thing, then girlies, beat him to it. Show him the door with his cock still stiff and kick the silly twat (!) out.

We have got to get women to appreciate that difference and diversity in all forms is fine. It is not a problem to have smaller tits than someone else. It is not a problem to have a large clit hood. It is just you.

My third issue is about the pain. Why on earth would you go through such pain for very little difference? Now I have been in the fortunate or misfortunate state of having no tits and too much tit, if there is such a thing. I have experienced being the smallest. My boobs were tiny for many years and at college, I failed the pencil test every time. My boobs simply weren’t big enough to retain a pencil underneath. But I had the added advantage of not having to wear a bra. I actually quite liked having small tits. They were delicate and petite. They still served the same purpose as bigger tits and they could still excite a watching bloke as I undressed in front of him. I have also had bigger tits, never huge, just bigger. They can seriously get in the way as you try and sleep. They bulge out of bras that are clearly too small for them. They create a cleavage that doesn’t catch the sun. They have their problems too. But when they are scooped into awaiting hands to be caressed and kissed, then I rather like them. I can understand, to a certain extent, why people go for breast enlargements or reduction. Being so prominently placed on your body, they are fairly obvious to the passing eye. But who, other than a person who is attracted to you, that you have invited to engage in sex with, is going to see your cunt? Why go through the incredible pain of having your labs cut off if no-one other than you is going to see them? Unless of course, you are going to go off to the nearest nightclub saying, “Come and get me big boys, I’ve not got any flaps to wade through”. How many of the big boys would just walk away at the horror of someone doing that to themselves.

The programme did explore the issues that are tied up with labioplasty relatively well. The idea of going to an holistic clinic to resolve your problems with your clit, your lab, your pussy was certainly an interesting one. But we shouldn’t have a need for such places if young women were more familiar with their pussies in the first place. Maybe within sex education, we should be asking girls to take a good look at themselves so that as they develop into adulthood and maturing years, they embrace and are comfortable with the changes in their bodies. Maybe the standardised, biological view of the pussy should have their varieties in text books. Maybe, we should be encouraging women across the world to look at their pussies, to photograph them and become familiar with them so that they can see and happily recognise that their cunts are as different as their faces and that is absolutely fine.

There is a final point that, although slightly jocular is an interesting one. In the programme, there were four women all looking at their cunts and then inviting other women to look at them once they were satisfied that they were ‘viewable’. I am dying to know if any of these women were turned on by that experience and the programme did not even mention this as a possibility. I cannot believe that they all sat there looking at each others parts and were not remotely excited. I do find this difficult to believe. Did they acknowledge this to one another? Did they want to do more than look? Did they want to get out of their pretty robes and look at other parts of each others bodies? I suspect that even if they didn’t say so, their curiosity, having being breeched must have been stimulated and they probably would have liked a little bit more of each other. This is not to say that by being aware of and familiar with your fanny and those of others that this pushes you into new realms of lesbianism or even bisexuality. However, a woman who is concerned about her labs is at the very least, sexually aware. If a woman then takes the step to go to a sex clinic to confront her fears, then she is sexually on a road of some sort. These were key steps towards a sexual enlightenment that I feel was probably shut off, just at the time when their liberation was beginning to flourish.

So I will finish now but I am sure that I will return to this subject.

Women should familiarise themselves with their pussies. Women should not compare their pussies with other people in a negative way. Women should look at other pussies for interest and stimulation if that is what turns them on. Women should be allowed to have this abhorrent surgery if that is what they want but they should certainly not be doing it for the sake of a man.

Furthermore, women should try desperately to embrace their individuality in all its form. Women should recognise that they are unique by their physique, their looks, their personality, everything. It is the comparison and the concerns that lead women to do some terrible things. It is the comparison that leads to having to deal with destructive emotions like jealousy and envy. It is the comparison that leads people to starving themselves in the vain hope that they will have a body that they are comfortable with.

And finally……. Sex is only partly about the body. Daft as that may sound, this is not an issue that we are managing to get across to young people. Once we have acknowledged and embraced difference and diversity, we must look at this more carefully. Be different. Be unique in EVERY way but also recognise that when you make love, you are doing just that. You are having sex with someone because you are acknowledging an attraction, a feeling. Okay, I have reread this and understand that there are many times when people fuck because they want to fuck. But real sex, real love making is about having sex where you reach out to the heart, the soul, the mind as well as the body, and clipping your labs is not going to make one iota of difference to the overwhelming, bliss-like state on meaningful and loving sex. End of!!