Nipples

You know I don’t read the newspaper enough. I don’t read enough. I often do not have the time, and get to the end of the day suddenly realising that I have not had a proper look at the papers. I think this is obviously one of the disadvantages about 24/7 news, as I read on the Ceefax letters page once, “News 24. Will it ever end?”

The purpose of newspapers seems to be shifting on a rapidly, evolving basis, changing them from the first port of call for news to something very different. Comment and opinion have always been an integral part of a newspaper, and thankfully remain a significant purpose, but now they have to use something else to entice the reader, keeping them loyal and interested.

The Guardian does its very best and there are such a range of articles that can stimulate the interest of a passing reader, and there are some days that are better than others.

As I have said in a blog before, you don’t have to search too hard in a newspaper to find something that has a sexual innuendo or undertone, and a couple of articles in G2 caught my eye as a starting point for a blog.

The first was a story about the very hideous Silvio Berlusconi, who fearing offending visiting dignitaries, has decided to alter a piece of art that bizarrely acts as a backdrop to press conferences. The offending piece is called “The Truth Unveiled”. In this piece, which I must look up on the internet, there is a nipple revealed. So these mad folk have had it airbrushed out. Who do they think they are? The British?

It was delightfully refreshing to read writer Kira Cochrane’s interpretation of this. Along with other examples of eradicating the nipple from the general public, she has come to a conclusion of which I, for one, am in agreement. Essentially, she concludes that there is a strong possibility that there is a deep unease about the female form. Her final sentence says, “It’s almost as though there’s a fear of women’s sexuality at work.” Indeed so. Speak up young women of the world. We need to join together, unite and win back our nipples, so to speak.

Quite rightly, this writer suggests that the only time that nipple flashing is acceptable is in the red top newspapers where everyone knows it is coming. The times when nipples are more than likely to show, for example, during breastfeeding or showering are the times when they need to be airbrushed. The total irony of the nipple being eradicated from a piece of art called “The Truth Unveiled” does not pass young Kira by.

But this is the exact, actual and very worrying truth. People most sincerely fear women’s sexuality, and I am not about to go into an anti-men rage, well not completely, for I fear that it is possibly more about female prudishness than men. I have a total abhorrence of the fact that it was probably a man who decided to remove the nipples from this painting, and again, I can just imagine the conversations. Quite rightly, there was obviously a conversation about being aware of peoples’ cultural and religious sensitivity. I am not knocking that, in fact I applaud it, but here’s an alternative suggestion. How about getting another painting as a backdrop? Methinks that Italy has quite a few renowned artists. The country is awash with masterpieces and not all of them have a display of tits and nipples. Here’s another alternative. Lead the way, Italians. Show the world that there is simply nothing, I say again, nothing wrong with a picture glorifying the majesty and beauty of the female form. I am so proud that I have boobs, nipples, pubic hair and a healthy vagina. I am proud that sometimes all of these body parts have been functional in a very non sexual way, but I am even more proud of the fact that these body parts are something that can be enjoyed, devoured and savoured by others. I am exceptionally proud that my tits are big enough and of a decent shape that someone would desire to look at them, touch them and ultimately suck them. I am proud that, despite lack of protrusion, my rather large nipples are still inviting and someone still wants to finger them, nibble at them, suck them.

And this is part of the truth to be unveiled. Yet it isn’t really unveiled at all. I am writing this on a private blog, which I may put on public display once I have checked it out for any unwitting personal disclosure.

In an ideal world, I would be having this conversation quite naturally with friends and family but people around me and around you are not always prepared to accept women’s sexuality.

This is an unheard revolution waiting to happen. We just need a considerable amount of comrades, both male and female to join the cause and put women’s sexuality comfortably at the forefront of peoples’ minds, so that when they look at art such as “The Truth Unveiled” they can legitimately do one of two things. They can look at it as a beautiful piece of art, carefully and knowledgably expressing the female form, but see it as just that – a piece of art, no different from any other still painting. Or they can see it as something that is deeply sexual. They can enjoy the stimulation both aesthetically and sexually of seeing a naked or semi-clad woman. They can drift into their own world and imagine their woman, their women, themselves in that state on undress, and hopefully they can lie down and imagine their own sexuality and what this and other types of similar art does for them and their sexuality.

And then they might like to have a wank!