Exhibitionism, Voyeurism and Future Fantasies Part One

Exhibitionism, Voyeurism and Future Fantasies

I have a dream, a hope, a fantasy.
It is a recurring fantasy to some extent because whenever I have flown off to fantasyland and imagined myself with some sort of unattainable, there has been a consistency in that I have enjoyed having sex in front of other people, whoever the unattainable may have been.
I don’t know when it started but I blame Jilly Cooper! I never read all the usual light porn books of Jackie Collins etc but I did finally succumb to Jilly Cooper after a friend said that I really must read one of her books. I think it was called “Riders” and it was about a show jumping community and a posh, good looking bird called Helen, who was sexually insecure and inexperienced.
Anyway, at one point in the book, Helen was with her man, Rupert Campbell Black (oh dear, it is all coming back to me) and they were in their garden. She was appalled when the other couple revealed themselves and started to have sex, with Rupert looking on, getting a sizeable erection and wanting Helen to undress in front of this couple. She, of course, was horrified and ran away from the scene in floods of tears, stating that her man could not possibly love her if he got a stiffy from looking at another woman.

More of that particular scenario in the next blog, but for now I want to concentrate on the fantasy. Having read about this couple having sex in front of their closest friends, I have always rather liked the idea. I am exceptionally turned on by having someone watch me enjoying sensational sex, hoping that they in turn will be excited enough through this voyeurism to either masturbate themselves to a very pleasant orgasm, or grab their partner so that I, together with my partner, can get off on the reciprocated pleasure of viewing others enjoying sex. Alternatively, we can all join in together with mutual wanking or fucking, or if there is only one person watching, then maybe they can join my partner and I in some delightfully sexy recreational sex.

I have thought about this scenario on many occasions and I wouldn’t want people to think that this happening is a necessity for fulfilling my ultimate sexual dream. Like many fantasies, there is as much, if not more, enjoyment in the imagination as actually realising it. But it is a pleasant thought nonetheless.

I am so enamoured by my newfound sexual appetite that I really feel a need to share it with others, hence, I suppose, one of the purposes of writing these blogs. I feel a need to tell people about how glorious my sex life is right now, and obviously, I am unable to do this in the usual day to day conversations with the trusted people in my life because of the secrecy of both my sexuality and the relationship that I have with my lover.
So in many ways, this desire to be viewed is inextricably linked with the secrecy that I have chosen for myself, for ourselves.

This is quite an interesting issue for me.
Recently, I realised that whilst I am having this fantastic, bliss-giving sex, nobody other than my lover knows about it. We haven’t so much as kissed or embraced in front of other people in “normal” circumstances, and maybe this is fuelling my desire to fulfil this ongoing fantasy of being watched having sex. Obviously, we have kissed and embraced and fucked and wanked in front of one other person but that person did not know about our intimacy and our relationship with one another. In that instance, I was the ‘other’ person, and I am really beginning to think that my desire to be seen is a desire to have the acknowledgement from others that my lover and I have a relationship of sorts, if not in the conventional way; almost an acceptance and understanding of our affection for one another from someone other than ourselves.

So, we have finally revealed ourselves to another, not explicitly, not full blown sex but we have kissed, held hands and touched one another in front of another person who really appreciates the depth of our feelings and passion.
And here is the interesting thing.
I am always pretty turned on whenever my lover touches me. I adore being greeted with a kiss and a none too subtle grab of my tits. I adore the urgency and desire that he conveys with a mere look on his face when he sees me but when he touched me, kissed me, fondled me in front of my friend, I was aroused even more than usual.

As he gently placed his hand firstly on my tit and then inside my bra, I found myself really wanting my friend to see what he was doing, yet simultaneously turning slightly away from her in case she was offended. I blatantly had my hand cupping his cock and balls without needing to caress them explicitly. Both of these things are pretty basic touches but I was exceptionally aware of how desperate I was for him to fuck me. I knew how close my orgasm was and he hadn’t even caressed my inner thighs let alone fingered my cunt in his usual, expert way.

Part of me wanted to turn to my friend and show her how my palm was covering his cock and how a mass of horniness was increasing with my proximity. Part of me wanted to turn around so that she could see how his hand was within my bra, taking deep handfuls of tit, exciting him as he wriggled his fingers around.
Part of me wanted him to pull my shirt and bra away, so that she could see my boobs being caressed by him, so that she could see him finger my nipples and she could realise just how much enjoyment he got from the sensual intimacy that we share.
Part of me wanted to undo his zip so that she could see the size of his ample and growing cock that springs to life when it is handled by my eager hands. Part of me wanted to go down on him so that she could see just how much he delights in me sucking his delicious fuck juices that dribble out of his divine erection whenever my head is bent towards it.
Instead, as I said, I turned my body so that she could merely guess as to where our hands really were, although it took little imagination to ascertain the actuality.
And even this excited me beyond belief. My arousal was such that I had two choices in front of me.
Either I told my friend that I was going to have to remove my lover from the room so that I could have some serious nookie, or I was going to have to tell her that I wanted to fuck him there and then, and it was up to her whether she remained where she was to watch or remove herself from the room. Whatever choice I had, I knew that an orgasm was impending one way or another and I simply had to satisfy the need to shoot my stuff out somewhere.

I chose the former, not due to a sudden bout of timidity but more because I wasn’t sure my friend was ready for such explicit behaviour but I really, really wanted her to see how fucking marvellous our sexual togetherness is. And I need to reiterate that this is not about some showiness or competitive spirit. I just want people to see good sex and see what it does for me and my partner.
I want to celebrate our sexuality and what better way to celebrate than show how utterly divine a good, sexual partnership can be.

I am so enamoured, so liberated by my sexuality that I just want people to know why and how this has happened.

Anyway, the orgasm did arrive. Starting immediately outside the room with a swift hand down the trousers, I knew that I was about to gush everywhere. I loved the idea of my friend sitting behind a door and listening to what could only be an emission from my cunt, but again, being sensitive to her comfort, I decided that we may need to go a little further afield. At the top of the stairs, I rapidly whipped my trousers and panties off just in time for him to curl his fingers inside me and feel my fuck juices erupting over his hand, his arm and his stair carpet. His extremely erect cock was within me quickly and he fucked me some more as I came again and again, and still I was overwhelmingly aroused knowing that my friend knew exactly what we were up to.

I am always aroused by my lover. I am extremely fortunate that we have this mutual love and acknowledgement of our sexuality, and the capacity and capability to turn each other on so much but if this heightened arousal comes about from merely imagining the potential of exhibitionism, then I do wonder what on earth is going to happen when we are in a situation when our fucking is viewed by others.

My fantasy still awaits realisation but the discussion, the thought, the planning and the nearness of it fills me with utter excitement.

More of this later but I am afraid that as ever, I have aroused myself to such an extent with the memory of this event that I need to get some fingers inside me and slop out yet another gushy orgasm before I retire for the night.